bring it on

tomorrow is the first day of work for this year and i dreaded this day since last year, dec.29, the last office day for 2006. jan.3 is our implementation date and it's the first oh so major project that i went through without a help from my project leader.

i was supposed to give my reply to our agent about my extension with hdb but due to the fact that i can't face that at that moment, i just asked my agent to get my reply next week after our implementation. and his reply: "ok, will wait for reply on jan.3". *talk about consideration...* so tomorrow night, hopefully, i will be able to draft my reply and send it, if my work permits me to go home early.

tomorrow, also, is nixon's first day in school. imagine how much it breaks my heart not to be able to accompany him on his first day because of my f@&#%$g work! so i just asked niño to bring him to school tomorrow and i'll be with nixon on thursday.

i've been sighing the whole day thinking about things... on what reply i'll give my agent... on how things would turn out for our implementation... on my son's first school day... on noah's upcoming 1st birthday... on saving up for our vacation to pinas this coming march... on moving on to another job... i've been trying to convince myself to do it one day at a time. i know it's pathetic because i usually give this piece of advise to my friends, but when it comes unto you, you just can't help but worry especially being away from your families and friends back home. before, it was easy because you can always turn to them, but this time, when you have your own family, you have to decide for the betterment of all your futures.

on the matter regarding my work, i've been browsing through jobstreet and was relieved to have found some postings on new jobs across sg. the other night, in between niño's snoring, i came to realize that as much as i wanted to stay with hdb, i feel that i can't stay with my work together with my current project leader. sure, he's nice and all but the fact stays that professionally, his working habits are getting into my nerves. imagine the stress and load he's passing on to me when he was suppose to help me out and encourage me. my user stayed with me til late last friday night just so we could be able to cover most of their requirements when it's suppose to be my pl's task. so i just told my husband that i might just find another 'condusive' job. but my options to stay are still open... i just need to hang on.