basic 'parents' instincts

Today I went to the market early in the morning with Niño, my rock. We headed down the streets quietly, thoughts reeling as we silently meditate on what happened last night. Even though he doesn't speak, you get this feeling that you know there's something in his mind. Maybe having known him for some few years now gave me the right to say that I know him well.

Last night it both dawned to us that we haven't really talked about rearing our child. Rearing in a sense of how are we suppose to discipline our sons. There was no spoken agreement as to how we will both face the fact that one day Nixon will not follow us, or that he would answer back or he would insist on his wants. We were not ready, and we ended up having an argument after Niño put Nixon to sleep vehemently. My son obviously looked out for any signs of rescue from her ever dearing mom but I just stood still and lulled Noah to sleep. I don't know how to respond.. my mind was telling me not to go against Niño's ways because parents should both have consistency on disciplining a child. Otherwise, there would be a clash on idealisms and it would send the child to confusion. But my heart was aching to soothe his fears and tell him that his daddy didn't mean to scold him. When Niño finally gave up on him, I put down Noah on his bed and went to Nixon's side. With tears in his eyes, sobbingly he embraced me and said, "daddy's anger me..." I shushed him and said that his daddy is not angry at him, he's just telling him to sleep. As the tears dried up on his face, he quietly surrendered to dreamland.

Nixon stayed with my parents and siblings for over a year when Niño and I decided to work here in Singapore. He came with my mom who took care of me after giving birth to Noah. We both decided that Nixon would stay with us now. We both wanted our sons to grow up together, we knew it was the best for them. We want them to grow harmoniously together and not estranged from each other. And since Niño and I were busy with the upcoming baby, we forgot to talk about Nixon. We didn't foresee that the Nixon we knew back then was a little toddler who rarely spoke a word and mostly sleeps his way during the day. And now that he's here, things are different and we were not ready.

As two individuals who grew up in diverse environments, of course it is obvious that Niño and I have been reared differently. And what might work as a disciplining tool for his side, would not work on mine and vice versa. So now here presents the problem in no disguise. We have to agree on certain terms as to how things should be done for our sons and why. Well our common denominator was that we didn't have a discourse on this event. And now that 'a sleepless Nixon' gave us an eye opener, I think it's time we sit down and discuss things properly *should a logbook be present on this? we'll see hehe*.. Hopefully we would shake on a resolution that would conform to our values and principles. We both acknowledge that being a parent is not that easy especially coming into terms with our kids' evolvement. But we would definitely have the innate sense of parenting that would make our place a home for Nixon and Noah.

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The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother, and the most important thing a mother can do for her children is to love their father. Anonymous