D Day

Sunday, market day and I woke up late *again!* I woke up around 7:30am in the morning to set my alarm clock to 9:30am and forgot to turn on the alarm! eeekk! Anyway, I jump out of bed at 11am and hurriedly tied up my hair then proceeded to the market with Yaya Juvs. It was a cool Sunday so it gave me the good vibes to do some special cooking.

As expected, the market was not jampacked anymore and most of the stalls were empty. Good thing Uncle Chicken *sorry can't make myself ask his name* still has one whole chicken left for me. The usual stall were I buy the sellar fish is cleaning already so I tried another vendor. Then I saw this huge fish head that still has some meat and I thought of making a soup out of the poor thing. Of course pork is never out of my list because I can do anything out of the blue with that piece of meat. The usual veggies is mostly part of the weekly menu, I just add something to spice it up. But usually the ever reliable oyster sauce is on my side hahahha!

That night I cooked the poor head thing and turned it into a sumptuous soup for dinner. You know this soothing feel of the broth travelling in your throat to your tummy and really being able to savor the taste of it? Its so relaxing and feels good to sip some soup with your hubby beside you and praising your dish. Its like winning his heart all over again.. True, the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach. It feels good to have that intuitive taste of knowing the right and almost exact tinge of mouth-watering meal to calm down my nerves.

Yes, I'm guilty of succombing to my appetite's desire *talk about dieting.. shooo! shoo!!*. While others go bargain hunting or shopping til they drop or cutting off this and that with their bodies *poor darn hair..* or color their nails black, I go to the market or grocery and buy my ingredients. I retreat to my kitchen and do some mixing, pouring, chopping, boiling, frying. After everything is done, I taste it and when I'm finally contented with my so-called 'experiment', I call my 'guinea pig' *I love you dadi hihihi!* and have it tested. As soon as I see that smile in his face, that look of satisfaction, all my worries are gone. All the pain, anguish, frustrations, tiredness, irritations and confusion just all go away. I come to peace with the thought that I can still make the most important person in my life happy. And even in a small way of feeding him right makes me feel so lucky and contented. I know that wether the food taste awful or not, he would still admire me and praise me.

To you my dear Dadi Rock, Rak, Niño, Nino, Nong, Happy Father's Day!!!


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To all the daddys out there, happy father's day! To my papa who has been my enemy, my savior and my adviser, happy father's day.

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The father who would taste the essence of his fatherhood must turn back from the plane of his experience, take with him the fruits of his journey and begin again beside his child, marching step by step over the same old road. ~Angelo Patri

blanked out

I was scheming through some of my friends' blogs. I was so amazed! They've started way over some few years back and all their experiences and memories were all logged down. So I went into panic. Damn, where should I start? I mean some had theirs done cronologically from the moment they stepped into the shores of Singapore. Some started from when they graduated from college, others from the beginning of their married life. Me? I don't have the tiniest bit of clue.. and it caused me to have eyebags the following day and trips to the pantry for coffee was inevitable. *This blogging thingy is not that easy ha..*

The first thought that came into my mind was to jot down about our love story. Then I came into a halt.. How the heck can I when we don't really have one? Then there was silence in my mind. I looked back on the years that has passed and peeped through every event that popped into my mind. I was trying to 'make' something out of nothing. But I guess I cannot fool myself. I have to admit that it happened so differently to me and Niño. We didn't go through the same traditional way of boy-meets-girl-they-fell-in-love-and-live-happily-ever-after thing. I felt glum for a while, feeling envy and hollow inside. Well you know, I do also have the 'hopeless romantic' bone in me somehow. But then maybe it wasn't for me. Maybe I have too strong for a character that I forced it that way unintentionally.

During my teenage years I also had that dream of being wooed by the tall, dark and handsome guy. We would go to the same school in college, graduate together and work together, get married, have kids.. *blah blah blah..* Typically thats how we see things when we were young. But as we grow wiser and older, unexpected circumstances bump us along the way and gets us off track. I think this is the best way to define my love story. I've had so many heartaches that I ended up finding the right one and tried my best *really* to be with him. *Yup, I'm talking about my hubby.*

When I fell in love with him, I have no tissue with his name, no encircled date on a receipt, no love song playing to remind me of that special day. The reason behind was that it all came unexpectedly. We started as bestfriends, so in my mind there was no telltale signs that I would fall in love with him. Yes, I do admire him but the idea of him being madly in love with another woman made me numb to cupid's arrow. As a friend, he was so thoughtful and caring.. sending text messages each day. He would always accompany me in the malls, we have movie marathons almost every weekend. We both like to be cool and we enjoy food trips. Most of the times, he would pay for the movies, while I splurge on food. But if its his payday, he pays for everything.. Neat huh?

So maybe there were some 'romantic notions' during our first few years.. I'll try extracting them as the days go by so I could put them all together here. Hurray! Mission accomplished! I am now ready to start recollecting my thoughts and putting all my memories together. Wooohhoooo!

basic 'parents' instincts

Today I went to the market early in the morning with Niño, my rock. We headed down the streets quietly, thoughts reeling as we silently meditate on what happened last night. Even though he doesn't speak, you get this feeling that you know there's something in his mind. Maybe having known him for some few years now gave me the right to say that I know him well.

Last night it both dawned to us that we haven't really talked about rearing our child. Rearing in a sense of how are we suppose to discipline our sons. There was no spoken agreement as to how we will both face the fact that one day Nixon will not follow us, or that he would answer back or he would insist on his wants. We were not ready, and we ended up having an argument after Niño put Nixon to sleep vehemently. My son obviously looked out for any signs of rescue from her ever dearing mom but I just stood still and lulled Noah to sleep. I don't know how to respond.. my mind was telling me not to go against Niño's ways because parents should both have consistency on disciplining a child. Otherwise, there would be a clash on idealisms and it would send the child to confusion. But my heart was aching to soothe his fears and tell him that his daddy didn't mean to scold him. When Niño finally gave up on him, I put down Noah on his bed and went to Nixon's side. With tears in his eyes, sobbingly he embraced me and said, "daddy's anger me..." I shushed him and said that his daddy is not angry at him, he's just telling him to sleep. As the tears dried up on his face, he quietly surrendered to dreamland.

Nixon stayed with my parents and siblings for over a year when Niño and I decided to work here in Singapore. He came with my mom who took care of me after giving birth to Noah. We both decided that Nixon would stay with us now. We both wanted our sons to grow up together, we knew it was the best for them. We want them to grow harmoniously together and not estranged from each other. And since Niño and I were busy with the upcoming baby, we forgot to talk about Nixon. We didn't foresee that the Nixon we knew back then was a little toddler who rarely spoke a word and mostly sleeps his way during the day. And now that he's here, things are different and we were not ready.

As two individuals who grew up in diverse environments, of course it is obvious that Niño and I have been reared differently. And what might work as a disciplining tool for his side, would not work on mine and vice versa. So now here presents the problem in no disguise. We have to agree on certain terms as to how things should be done for our sons and why. Well our common denominator was that we didn't have a discourse on this event. And now that 'a sleepless Nixon' gave us an eye opener, I think it's time we sit down and discuss things properly *should a logbook be present on this? we'll see hehe*.. Hopefully we would shake on a resolution that would conform to our values and principles. We both acknowledge that being a parent is not that easy especially coming into terms with our kids' evolvement. But we would definitely have the innate sense of parenting that would make our place a home for Nixon and Noah.

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The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother, and the most important thing a mother can do for her children is to love their father. Anonymous

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