*suddenly remembered i missed posting this last christmas*
the receptionist from my ortho told me that my next appointment would be dec. 24 so she said how about we move it 1st week january. it didn't sink in so my immediate response was, "its chinese new year". then later realized my thoughts lingered in january.
holidays again would go without spending it at home with family. it's been 7 christmases.
i decided to take that trip on january.�
moving houses, paying rent and bills will always be there. getting married, having kids, paedia care, school fees, extended family support is part of life.. it will always be there.�
so what am i saying here? i'm saying i will no longer put on hold things that we, i, wanted to do just because of these part of life. yes, i'm seizing the day. we can always earn back the money we spent, but the time loss, the moment of bliss and happiness of being there and doing what we always wanted to do can fade away. the hours, the days, cannot be rewinded. so why wait when we're old and grey and too fragile to take that adventure? why not now?
i'm feeling excited. as clarisse vaughan has said from "the hours", this moment here of happiness is happiness. right now.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Monday, February 06, 2012
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
i think so too
forgiveness and mercy can be applicable if there is recognition and acceptance of fault, followed by sincere apologies and repentance. then, it is only rightful and deserving to say, "I forgive you".
isn't it funny to be asked, "when will you forgive?", when the culprit isn't exactly aware or directly denies affliction?
isn't it funny to be asked, "when will you forgive?", when the culprit isn't exactly aware or directly denies affliction?
Sunday, February 13, 2011
minsan.. sometimes.. napapadalas
minsan masarap mag-share ng thoughts, lalo na pag masaya ka. ganun ako, mahilig ako mag-share ng mga bagay na nakapagpapasaya sakin. pag may nagustuhan akong pagkain na natikman ko somewhere, bibili ako ng marami nun sa susunod tapos pamimigay ko sa mga kaibigan ko. kasi pwedeng sumaya rin sila.
minsan magluluto ako, at pag naging successful, dadamihan ko at ilalagay ko sa plastic the next day at iaabot ko sa kanila... kahit pa magmukha akong baduy at chipangga dahil naka pang-office clothes ako with killer heels at may bitbit na paperbag na mukhang pang-tapaw *take out*. basta naiisip ko lang, i'm sure matutuwa sila sa niluto ko.
pag may nakita ako sa malls na cute or usable item, kung kaya ko naman bilhin, i would buy it and give it as a gift. kahit pa ako un wala, basta sila meron.
minsan malungkot ako... pero pag naiisip kong mag-share sa kanila ng food or stuffs or happy stories, ok narin ako. minsan nga di daw nila halata na may dinadamdam na pala ako... di ko na lang iniinda, kasi pano na lang ang kaligayahan nila? pag tumahimik ako, ano na lang ang pag uusapan namin? pag huminto ako, pano na sila? di ko rin sigurado na pag ginawa ko un gusto ko, sasaya ako. at least alam ko, sigurado ako, na pag ginawa ko un pra sa kanila at masaya sila, masaya narin ako.
minsan magluluto ako, at pag naging successful, dadamihan ko at ilalagay ko sa plastic the next day at iaabot ko sa kanila... kahit pa magmukha akong baduy at chipangga dahil naka pang-office clothes ako with killer heels at may bitbit na paperbag na mukhang pang-tapaw *take out*. basta naiisip ko lang, i'm sure matutuwa sila sa niluto ko.
pag may nakita ako sa malls na cute or usable item, kung kaya ko naman bilhin, i would buy it and give it as a gift. kahit pa ako un wala, basta sila meron.
minsan malungkot ako... pero pag naiisip kong mag-share sa kanila ng food or stuffs or happy stories, ok narin ako. minsan nga di daw nila halata na may dinadamdam na pala ako... di ko na lang iniinda, kasi pano na lang ang kaligayahan nila? pag tumahimik ako, ano na lang ang pag uusapan namin? pag huminto ako, pano na sila? di ko rin sigurado na pag ginawa ko un gusto ko, sasaya ako. at least alam ko, sigurado ako, na pag ginawa ko un pra sa kanila at masaya sila, masaya narin ako.
Sunday, February 06, 2011
cool change
minumulto na ko ng blog site ko so here i am, blogging away and getting back to biz. sorry, marami lang kasing nangyare recently with our lives for the past 2years na i have to recuperate and be in my own cave.
now, i'm trying to evolve and have a new mindset and tell stories in a different light. together with it is the restructuring of my site little by little. i have put up some new interesting links which i like to share kasi nakakaaliw talaga basahin mga post nila. just click away!
btw, i usually update and post using my multiply account kasi i load some pics over there so its easier to capture pics and export here. i redesigned it as well, may new skin na sya.
now, i'm trying to evolve and have a new mindset and tell stories in a different light. together with it is the restructuring of my site little by little. i have put up some new interesting links which i like to share kasi nakakaaliw talaga basahin mga post nila. just click away!
btw, i usually update and post using my multiply account kasi i load some pics over there so its easier to capture pics and export here. i redesigned it as well, may new skin na sya.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
hugging the rock
*this book was given to me by dadi rak... he was very fond of it. he was all smiles when he handed it over to me. these are the lines from the 1st page...*
No Room
When my mom decides to run away from home
she packs up her car
with all the things that matter most
to her.
Her guitar
and some books
all her CDs
her clothes
her shoes
Grandma's music box from the fireplace mantle
and the quilt from the bed she shares with Dad.
She jams plastic grocery bags
filled with soap and shampoo
between the small spaces
left in between things
and tied a couple of suitcases to the roof.
At the last minute she
throws in a few dishes
some towels
and a potted red geranium
that guards the front porch.
Dad tells her not to pack stuffs too high
so she can still see out the back window
but she ignores him
and shoves her pillow
between her guitar case and portable TV.
By the time she's done
there's no room left for anything else.
No room left for Dad.
And no room left for me.
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
unfamiliar grounds
i'm accustomed to taking risks and facing difficulties and fears. i have this strong conviction of myself, that whatever decision i make, i will be responsible for the consequences. during my grade school days, i had a big crush on this high school guy. one day i just decided to tell him that i like him and i admire his volleyball skills. that day, i knew that i'm that kind of person who would not just keep quiet and wait for things to unfold on its own. before i graduated high school, i had the audacity to tell my history teacher that i like him a lot. when i was a freshman in college, i greatly admired my trigonometry professor. i gave him a parker pen.. i had a feeling he knew my reasons. and when i was already working, i was bold enough to tell my then-best-friend-now-husband, that i was in love with him.
gone were the days when i would sit still and shy away from arguments and confrontations... i was always ready to give my opinions, sometimes, even without tact. not until recently, when a very traumatic experience made a head-on collision with my life, our lives. my whole being was itching to confront the devil and let all my grief, anger and pain burst out. but for the first time, i kept my distance and didn't bother to get any answers or to explain myself. i just stopped and burried myself in my cave. i focused all my energy on my kids and to reading. it became my zen.
it was tough, almost all the time i would cry. i felt so alone, but i was very thankful to those who would drop a message or two asking how my day was and how i am coping. my family oftentimes call and text me encouraging words. some came to visit, and i'm thankful to be blessed with friendly souls. it was a surprise to know that those who you don't often see were the first ones to sympathize. again, i'm forever grateful. :)
gone were the days when i would sit still and shy away from arguments and confrontations... i was always ready to give my opinions, sometimes, even without tact. not until recently, when a very traumatic experience made a head-on collision with my life, our lives. my whole being was itching to confront the devil and let all my grief, anger and pain burst out. but for the first time, i kept my distance and didn't bother to get any answers or to explain myself. i just stopped and burried myself in my cave. i focused all my energy on my kids and to reading. it became my zen.
it was tough, almost all the time i would cry. i felt so alone, but i was very thankful to those who would drop a message or two asking how my day was and how i am coping. my family oftentimes call and text me encouraging words. some came to visit, and i'm thankful to be blessed with friendly souls. it was a surprise to know that those who you don't often see were the first ones to sympathize. again, i'm forever grateful. :)
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
nothing much, really
one's patience is really tested to its fullest by your growing children and ageing parents. if you muster the art of diplomatic conversation, then i salute you. =)
on another note, i'm glad and happy to say that i'm back on track. side trips were inevitable, you just have to know how to go around the obstacles. i just want to let my detractors know that you will never break me because i keep my faith intact and i'm focused to fight for my kids' happiness, whatever it takes. you haven't seen the real me, i have dealt with you in a subtle manner. if i were such a b*tch, you would've hidden your face in shame. i could've done worse, but my delikadesa and good manners kept me in the distance. i'm a mother and wife, it's my duty and place to protect my family. stop with your nonsense reasoning, you're in the wrong.
i'm now ready to break the silence. i'm no longer afraid to hold back my feelings or thoughts. i have surpassed my darkest hour, and i'm ready.. because i have braved the odds and i will never back down. there's always a blessing in disguise hiding somewhere after the storm. you just have to tough it out. *wink.. prang showbiz hehehe*
on another note, i'm glad and happy to say that i'm back on track. side trips were inevitable, you just have to know how to go around the obstacles. i just want to let my detractors know that you will never break me because i keep my faith intact and i'm focused to fight for my kids' happiness, whatever it takes. you haven't seen the real me, i have dealt with you in a subtle manner. if i were such a b*tch, you would've hidden your face in shame. i could've done worse, but my delikadesa and good manners kept me in the distance. i'm a mother and wife, it's my duty and place to protect my family. stop with your nonsense reasoning, you're in the wrong.
i'm now ready to break the silence. i'm no longer afraid to hold back my feelings or thoughts. i have surpassed my darkest hour, and i'm ready.. because i have braved the odds and i will never back down. there's always a blessing in disguise hiding somewhere after the storm. you just have to tough it out. *wink.. prang showbiz hehehe*
Saturday, November 15, 2008
2nd monthsary alone
new things i've mustered so far being in a different environment and experiencing 1st's in my life..
1. the earth does get very cold in some parts of this world. i never expected that a vast space would be like a cold freezer with cold mist splashing in your face.
2. staying in a suburban area is cool although it sometimes gets boring when there's only one bus passing by your neighborhood and the nearest civilization (malls) is 40minutes away.
3. autumn leaves are really fascinating and wonderful. before, i didn't really care when i come across them in magazines and the internet. now seeing them in person makes it feel so delightful. the changing of colors are awesome!
4. that in these events, i should take very good care of my camera :( it's been more than 2weeks now since it's been in the repair center. please get well soon so i can still catch the autumn leaves before snow comes in.
5. it takes a lot of patience waiting for the bus to pass by and getting there in the train station 30minutes before the arrival. it takes a lot of warming power to sit or stand in the shed while cold wind is blowing and smoke is definitely coming out of your breath (but i kinda like the smoke thing hehe).
6. you learn to do chores on your own and well, do all of them by yourself. *prang redundant haha*
7. i learned to read the maps and be observant of the road signs and bus stops and shops, banks, church, groceries within the area so that the next time, i know when to hit the stop button in the bus and where to alight in train stations.
8. i learned how to find a way to entertain myself when sadness, loneliness, depression and homesickness kicks in :( *sigh* i really miss my kids and dadi rak. *i already watched grey's anatomy from season1-4*
1. the earth does get very cold in some parts of this world. i never expected that a vast space would be like a cold freezer with cold mist splashing in your face.
2. staying in a suburban area is cool although it sometimes gets boring when there's only one bus passing by your neighborhood and the nearest civilization (malls) is 40minutes away.
3. autumn leaves are really fascinating and wonderful. before, i didn't really care when i come across them in magazines and the internet. now seeing them in person makes it feel so delightful. the changing of colors are awesome!
4. that in these events, i should take very good care of my camera :( it's been more than 2weeks now since it's been in the repair center. please get well soon so i can still catch the autumn leaves before snow comes in.
5. it takes a lot of patience waiting for the bus to pass by and getting there in the train station 30minutes before the arrival. it takes a lot of warming power to sit or stand in the shed while cold wind is blowing and smoke is definitely coming out of your breath (but i kinda like the smoke thing hehe).
6. you learn to do chores on your own and well, do all of them by yourself. *prang redundant haha*
7. i learned to read the maps and be observant of the road signs and bus stops and shops, banks, church, groceries within the area so that the next time, i know when to hit the stop button in the bus and where to alight in train stations.
8. i learned how to find a way to entertain myself when sadness, loneliness, depression and homesickness kicks in :( *sigh* i really miss my kids and dadi rak. *i already watched grey's anatomy from season1-4*
Monday, November 10, 2008
sadyang ganoon
minsan, kahit gaano kalabis mong ipakita sa taong mahal mo na iniibig mo sya, sadyang di ka nya nakikita.
minsan, kahit gaano kaalab ang iyong pag-irog sa kanya, sadyang di nya maramdaman ang kapurihan ng iyong pagsinta.
minsan, kahit gaano kahigpit ang iyong yakap sa kanya upang ipadama ang init ng iyong pagmaliw, sadyang kumakawala sya sa iyong mga bisig.
minsan, kahit gaano mo sya gustong punuin ng iyong pag-aaruga at proteksyon, sadyang pilit pa din syang lalayag at papalaot sa piling ng iba.
minsan, kahit gaano kasakit sa iyong damdamin na makita syang masaya sa piling ng kanyang sinisinta, sadyang kailangang tanggapin na kahit kailan di sya para sa iyo.
minsan, kahit gaano kaganda at kadalisay ang iyong intensyong mapaligaya sya, palalayain mo sya kahit lumuluha ang iyong puso.
sadyang ganoon talaga.. mas mahalaga ang pagmamahal nya sa iniibig nya kaysa sa pag-ibig na nilalaan mo para sa kanya.
minsan, kahit gaano kaalab ang iyong pag-irog sa kanya, sadyang di nya maramdaman ang kapurihan ng iyong pagsinta.
minsan, kahit gaano kahigpit ang iyong yakap sa kanya upang ipadama ang init ng iyong pagmaliw, sadyang kumakawala sya sa iyong mga bisig.
minsan, kahit gaano mo sya gustong punuin ng iyong pag-aaruga at proteksyon, sadyang pilit pa din syang lalayag at papalaot sa piling ng iba.
minsan, kahit gaano kasakit sa iyong damdamin na makita syang masaya sa piling ng kanyang sinisinta, sadyang kailangang tanggapin na kahit kailan di sya para sa iyo.
minsan, kahit gaano kaganda at kadalisay ang iyong intensyong mapaligaya sya, palalayain mo sya kahit lumuluha ang iyong puso.
sadyang ganoon talaga.. mas mahalaga ang pagmamahal nya sa iniibig nya kaysa sa pag-ibig na nilalaan mo para sa kanya.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
bright leaves.. windy wind
as i am looking outside the window inside my room, i saw that the leaves are falling from the trees and they look pretty. it's so colorful. and the wind outside is humming its way to fall season. i think the weather helps to dampen your emotions or lift them up in such a way that it clouds your judgement and perspective. i'm trying my best to stay focus and be in the game. it should happen, if not sooner, then later. i just have to breathe and think about the nice colors of the leaves, the brighter side of the humming wind and cool breeze. this is just a phase, to renew, discover and learn. maybe it won't turn out the way i expected, but at least i enjoyed the ride and realized something new. i need to prioritize myself sometimes, and be kinder to my own self. i deserve a chance to be happy and discover who i really am.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Thursday, October 09, 2008
i remember
i need you back... i need you here to guide me... please come back, you're the only one who's ever loved me... i need you back... let's start all over again. share the love you had for me then..
i wish he could just be supportive and loving right now.. as in, now. *sigh* wherever you are, i hope you're happy always.
thor
i wish he could just be supportive and loving right now.. as in, now. *sigh* wherever you are, i hope you're happy always.
thor
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
any time now...
even if i try so hard not to think about it or how much i hide from it, the reality is... it's going to be any time now. i should succumb to the truth that it's just 11days 'til i empty my desk in the office... 13days 'til i go back home to be with my parents and siblings for just 4days... and only 30days before i bid adieu to sg and have a good crying 'til i get on board on that plane.
i must start talking to my boys and spend quality time with them. any time now...
i must start talking to my boys and spend quality time with them. any time now...
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
timely coincidence
i just remembered.. i was suppose to blog about this incident last month. remember our nice driver/tourist guide from bohol? mang jun? well, we suddenly remembered to send in some 'tip' for his generosity during our trip to bohol. we weren't able to hand him some token of gratitude because we were expecting that he'll be the same driver who'll take us to the ferry terminal to cebu. unfortunately, he had another appointment so we were taken by another guy. so we decided to deposit some amount in his bank account during our remittance trip to LP.
i asked for his bank details, and told me how thankful he is. his exact words were, 'ma'am, siguro po hulog kayo ng langit sa akin. kasi po nasa ospital po ako ngayon, bukas ako discharge. buti na lang po may dumating na tulong pinansyal galing sa inyo. god bless po at maraming salamat!' *ma'am, maybe you were sent by good fate. i'm currently confined in the hospital and will be discharged tomorrow. good thing you're financial aid was in time. god bless and thank you!*.
it really sent chills to my body and i was so touched by this incident. truly, another one of god's mysterious ways.
i asked for his bank details, and told me how thankful he is. his exact words were, 'ma'am, siguro po hulog kayo ng langit sa akin. kasi po nasa ospital po ako ngayon, bukas ako discharge. buti na lang po may dumating na tulong pinansyal galing sa inyo. god bless po at maraming salamat!' *ma'am, maybe you were sent by good fate. i'm currently confined in the hospital and will be discharged tomorrow. good thing you're financial aid was in time. god bless and thank you!*.
it really sent chills to my body and i was so touched by this incident. truly, another one of god's mysterious ways.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
makes sense
"love is not a feeling, it's an ability"
- marty, bf of cara
excerpt from the movie 'dan in real life'
=)
- marty, bf of cara
excerpt from the movie 'dan in real life'
=)
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
may26 entry
*my first thoughts when we started our trip to the visayas region...*
i thank god that our flight wasn’t delayed… i thank god for the safe and smooth flight… i thank god for the nice weather as soon as we landed in Bohol… i thank god for the kind and reliable driver… i thank god for all the wonderful creations that we experienced going around Bohol… i thank god for our peaceful resort… i thank god that I was with my sweet and loving husband as i discover His great wonders.
i thank god that our flight wasn’t delayed… i thank god for the safe and smooth flight… i thank god for the nice weather as soon as we landed in Bohol… i thank god for the kind and reliable driver… i thank god for all the wonderful creations that we experienced going around Bohol… i thank god for our peaceful resort… i thank god that I was with my sweet and loving husband as i discover His great wonders.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
back again, and nag-eemote
hello we're back! *para bang kanta ng boy band ang subject title? hehe*
kwento ako sa inyo ng details ng trip namin to manila sa next entry ko. inaayos ko pa kasi ung sobrang daming pictures namin from the trip. but let me just blog about my feelings right now...
as i was putting my two little boys to sleep, i was seeing their faces together with dadi and the rest of ptv4 in the airport waving their goodbyes to me and hugging me... tears just suddenly rolled at the corners of my eyes. i'm counting the weeks now... everytime na maiisip ko na malapit ko na sila iwan for some time, i can't help but cry.
kwento ako sa inyo ng details ng trip namin to manila sa next entry ko. inaayos ko pa kasi ung sobrang daming pictures namin from the trip. but let me just blog about my feelings right now...
as i was putting my two little boys to sleep, i was seeing their faces together with dadi and the rest of ptv4 in the airport waving their goodbyes to me and hugging me... tears just suddenly rolled at the corners of my eyes. i'm counting the weeks now... everytime na maiisip ko na malapit ko na sila iwan for some time, i can't help but cry.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
never
i will never heed nor attempt to befriend that person anymore... it proves to say that that person is not worthy and is totally and absolutely superficial. i'm letting go of our so-called friendship. period.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
counting d days - 10days!
yehey! i'm counting the days when we can finally go back home to pinas and enjoy a 2week vacay! this is the longest vacation we'll have after more than 3years here in sg. and the best part is, we're going island hopping!!! sobrang exciting! dadi and i are going to bohol, cebu and boracay for 3 days each! yiippeee! thanks of course to our friend ulrik, who introduced our ever reliable travel agent, melynn. we'll be spending our 1st three days at panglao island in bohol, including tours in chocolate hills, tarsiers reserve and loboc river. then we'll be ferried to cebu for a tour around cebu city and mactan. finally we'll be flying to boracay where we'll be meeting some of my friends from accenture and my best bud from high school, jeng. we're scheduled to flyback to manila on jun1.
i just can't wait to have a break hehehehe.... btw, the thing that i've been waiting for almost a year now is finally over. i'm so happy it's finally over and now i'm ready to move on to the next phase. =) will tell you more about it on my next entry. but for now, im so excited to go home!
i just can't wait to have a break hehehehe.... btw, the thing that i've been waiting for almost a year now is finally over. i'm so happy it's finally over and now i'm ready to move on to the next phase. =) will tell you more about it on my next entry. but for now, im so excited to go home!
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