way of lent: free yourself

it was the worst turning point in my life... and you left me.

i forgive you.

half awake, half asleep

i usually hate myself the following night when i'm in the middle of REM of sleeping... my mind usually goes on a roll and starts blogging! so the hate happens coz i would forget what i was writing in my head. i would usually convince myself that i would remember to jot it down the next day. but NO! so now i'm making myself write before really going to sleep. blame it on the anesthesia.

maybe that's why i have vivid dreams... lots of thoughts running around uncomposed.

64

...and to add insult to injury... upon arriving home last night and kissing my noah good night, he sleep talked and said, "i told you it should be 64!"

bummer hehehe it's haunting me!

struggle between choices

the only right word i could think of right now is 'depressing'. i don't understand why... why...

anyway, the go-to relief is food. first thought that came to mind is mcdonald's cheeseburger meal with fries and soda, upsize!

upon alighting at the mrt station, i turned to my right exit to avoid seeing it and as if a way of saying, "eat me, instead", mr. bean is still open! so i got myself a serving of bean curd with pearls. and to cap it all off, a developer of ours sent over some sweets from india. sort of like a merengue i suppose.

i would love to think of myself as a person who has reached a next level of positive high. i did not succumb to what my body wants, but what it needs. hopefully, i could keep up with my food EQ.

i don't wanna miss a thing

today's fascinating Q&A's and touching gestures by the little ones...

noah: mummy, why do boys have to have two balls to marry a woman?
me: baby let's just talk about that next time

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noah: wake up mummy! breakfast time!
me: what's for breakfast?
noah: pancakes! but there's only two pieces left.. oh i know! i'll cut mine in half so we could share ok?

aaaaawwwwwwwww!

nixon also came in and said good morning and i love you to me. he got a bit of spanking and scolding last night for breaking a lamp, and yet the love and affection is still there. how fascinating that he has gone way past my anger and still feel the love for me without grudges.

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inside the mrt, i handed over the kindle to nixon, and he started reading 'charlie and the chocolate factory'. i handed the ipad to the little one and opened 'winnie the pooh' in ibooks. first thing he did? turned to the last page to check out how many pages and blurted out with an impatient voice, "139 pages??!".

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noah was holding his arms around me while standing up inside the bus. i had to hold onto the pole for support. upon turning to a sharp curve, he suddenly said, "mummy i got you.. you're safe with me."

i love my boys... i wouldn't be afraid to get old =)

riser

she was sitting on a sofa across me in a living room or an office reception area... i couldn't really tell. there was somber & melancholy emanating from her. i asked her how she's doing. her lips trembled as she replied, "i'm fine.. i suppose." she told me she's working somewhere in outram park mrt station, near the riser building. she was wearing long sleeves office jacket and skirt, all in black.

when i woke up, i had the sudden urge to call her and say hello.