why do i love thee

this poem below has been in my subconscious since i read it in one of those hallmark greeting cards while in the national bookstore waiting for that someone.

people often ask their better halves, why do you love me? why do you want to stay with me? can you give me some reasons why you chose to love me? honestly, most people couldn't really put it into words in that instant. so we make this blabbering about his looks, kindness, thoughtfulness yada yada yada...

as we get of age, i realize that the answer to these questions is not really about that person... but it's within you. it's what you have become, what you have achieved, what made you who you are at this moment.

it dawned on me when i answered to him, i love you because i am a better person. i love you because i am not here right now if it wasn't for you and our children. i love you because i am more resilient, reliable and thoughtful to other people. i love you because i learned to value life and love more than ever, and i love you because i respect you. i love you because i became aware of the importance of my existence and my gratitude towards life and God is exceedingly way over beyond what i can imagine it could be. i love you because i'm still gearing up and willing to learn more about life in the next coming years and i believe i wouldn't experience it better with anybody else but you.

=)

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

countdown

ilang beses ko ng sinasabi, di ko sineseryoso... o ayaw ko seryosohin. kasi pag pinagnilayan ko, alam ko, maluluha lang ako. alam ko, gugunaw ang isang parte sa puso ko.

lagi kong ibinibiro, "uuyy malapit na kayo mag-countdown". pero sino ba niloloko ko, kundi ang sarili ko. alam ko naman, kung aaminin ko lang, ako ang talagang nagka-countdown.

sino ba namang kaibigang nagmamahal ang gustong mawalay sa mga taong kahit saglit mo lang nakasama, gumuhit na ng napakagandang alaala sa isipan at puso mo. kahit kelan, di mo na mawawaglit ang mga panahong biglang aya ng laro dito, kain doon, nood dyan, shopping ng lunch break.

ang hirap isipin na milya na ang pisikal na distansya naten. buti na lang may internet. pero iba parin ang totoong pag-yakap, pag-alalay, pag-alo, pag-hikayat, pag-sermon, pag-mamahal na pinaramdam nyo sa akin, sa amin.

ang hirap talaga mamaalam.

dream journal

i hate myself for being lazy to grab my fone and jot down the thoughts in my mind whenever it comes reeling in. too confident, knowing that i will remember it later, but actually i don't. so i have piles and piles of notes in my head that just faded away. by the time i sit down to face my blank notepad for blogging, i don't know what to write. now here i am, finally jotting down an entry which should have been composed 4months ago.

i'd like to document my weird dreams... maybe someday, somehow, someone would be able to explain to me what it means. or maybe, i just want to keep them because normally, we forget dreams the moment we wake up and just remember fragments.

a. ok so if you're sensitive, don't read this. again, i warned you. i saw in a toilet bowl, a white dove, crawling out of brown grinded stuff, like sand on water. does that even have a translation???

b. holding a big brown rat on his tail. ok, i should've warned you.

c. high school reunion with karen and keith. i don't know why their faces are so vivid.

d. sharing grapes with friends, janx and trina.

e. i saw a friend who fainted in my dream. i guess it was a reminder for me to tell her of what transpired the other day.

carpe diem!

*suddenly remembered i missed posting this last christmas*

the receptionist from my ortho told me that my next appointment would be dec. 24 so she said how about we move it 1st week january. it didn't sink in so my immediate response was, "its chinese new year". then later realized my thoughts lingered in january.

holidays again would go without spending it at home with family. it's been 7 christmases.

i decided to take that trip on january.�

moving houses, paying rent and bills will always be there. getting married, having kids, paedia care, school fees, extended family support is part of life.. it will always be there.�

so what am i saying here? i'm saying i will no longer put on hold things that we, i, wanted to do just because of these part of life. yes, i'm seizing the day. we can always earn back the money we spent, but the time loss, the moment of bliss and happiness of being there and doing what we always wanted to do can fade away. the hours, the days, cannot be rewinded. so why wait when we're old and grey and too fragile to take that adventure? why not now?

i'm feeling excited. as clarisse vaughan has said from "the hours", this moment here of happiness is happiness. right now.

and they strike again

mami: noah you're stepping on my foot!
noah: no mommy... my slippers stepped on your foot!

hmp!

nixon: mommy, how do you spell 'caint'? (sounds something like that to me)
mami: is there such a word? what do you mean?
nixon: you know, it's like when they're being punished
mami: hay naku nixon, CANED! (i even asked him to check the dictionary susme!)

bakit ba kasi sounds like letter 'T' dito pag past tense! HMP!

where have all the eyebrows gone!

was trying to grow back some 'brow tail' since late 2010... just noticed that the magic is gone. i tried resorting to brow liners, but it seems off with the growing tail. you know that feeling when you look in the mirror and feels like your brows are levitating over the liner, its disappointing! so i'd have to cut a little bit of it every time. and now i'm reaping the effects... it just decided not to grow back anymore. now i have to learn the art of brow lining, besides gel eye lining ugh!