into deep

right now, i'm in my cave, trying to calm down and compose myself. at this moment, at this instant, i really really wish i was there... that we are there. that this shouldn't be happening if we were there. i really wanna be there so badly, i'm crying and hurting inside so bad. i'm pushing away all thoughts of regrets, frustrations, anger and blame. why, why does it have to be so hard? why can't it happen?

aloe hair!

please don't judge me. this is the only way i know, my last resort to alleviate my hair's agony.

it's been 3months now since it started falling off incessantly. i was ignoring it at first, thinking it must be normal for a week or two. but by golly! i'm so scared right now 'coz it keeps falling off even if i just comb my hair once a day (during mornings only while its wet). my suspect: the hair lotion i'm applying c/o pink beauty to keep my curls neat. it doesn't come cheap mind you. i stopped using it for about 3weeks now and my alternative is ginvera olive oil, but the same number of hair strands are still falling off huhuhu!

while some of you might go for hair technology, treatments and damage control products, i decided to go back to basics. i don't wanna shed more pennies to only regret it later on. my solution: aloe vera. yes, i bought a big 'leaf' in the grocery and asked my ever reliable hubby to scrub the aloe jelly(?) on my scalp and leave it there for half an hour before washing. i just had a sudden flash of memory of my mom helping a neighbor scrub aloe vera while having their usual afternoon chitchats way back my childhood days. there was even another hair remedy... 'gugo' bark, which you soak into the water and lathers up like shampoo and is applied to the scalp and hair. if aloe vera doesn't work, then i need to get this 'gugo' bark. yes, i'm desperate.

lizzy and mr. darcy

have you ever had this feeling when you read a book that you really like... and you wanna keep reading it because you're so excited and thrilled to know the what's gonna happen next *even if you have watched it in a movie already*? yet at the same time, you dread that the pages are going by so fast, there's just few of them left so you wanna stop and you wished that the pages would not end...

that's how i felt while reading jane austen's pride and prejudice.

i'm so happy and very satisfied after reading the book itself. crazy enough, i watched the movie immediately that night after reading it. recognizing the dialogues in the book being spoken by the characters made it so real, especially the part when lady catherine de bourgh confronted elizabeth. mrs. bennet is even funnier in the book, and mr. darcy's confessions of love for lizzy is so heartwarming! i'm so in love with him! hahaha!

here are my fave quotes in the book:

Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us. - Mary, Chapter 5

"Really, Mr. Collins," cried Elizabeth with some warmth, "you puzzle me exceedingly. If what I have hitherto said can appear to you in the form of encouragement, I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as to convince you of its being one." - Chapter 19

"An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do." - Mr. Bennet, Chapter 20 <-- this really made me laugh while i was in the train!

She was suddenly roused by the sound of the door-bell, and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself, who had once before called late in the evening, and might now come to inquire particularly after her. But this idea was soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected, when, to her utter amazement, she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room. In an hurried manner he immediately began an inquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. She answered him with cold civility. He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up, walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began: "In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." <-- super kilig moment!

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." - Mr. Darcy

crazy!

this guy is just so great, i have to share his performance to ya' all... get ready to be amazed