babyturtle's cradle

dream journal

2012-02-08T17:52:00.001+08:00

i hate myself for being lazy to grab my fone and jot down the thoughts in my mind whenever it comes reeling in. too confident, knowing that i will remember it later, but actually i don't. so i have piles and piles of notes in my head that just faded away. by the time i sit down to face my blank notepad for blogging, i don't know what to write. now here i am, finally jotting down an entry which should have been composed 4months ago.

i'd like to document my weird dreams... maybe someday, somehow, someone would be able to explain to me what it means. or maybe, i just want to keep them because normally, we forget dreams the moment we wake up and just remember fragments.

a. ok so if you're sensitive, don't read this. again, i warned you. i saw in a toilet bowl, a white dove, crawling out of brown grinded stuff, like sand on water. does that even have a translation???

b. holding a big brown rat on his tail. ok, i should've warned you.

c. high school reunion with karen and keith. i don't know why their faces are so vivid.

d. sharing grapes with friends, janx and trina.

e. i saw a friend who fainted in my dream. i guess it was a reminder for me to tell her of what transpired the other day.

carpe diem!

2012-02-06T16:44:00.001+08:00

*suddenly remembered i missed posting this last christmas*

the receptionist from my ortho told me that my next appointment would be dec. 24 so she said how about we move it 1st week january. it didn't sink in so my immediate response was, "its chinese new year". then later realized my thoughts lingered in january.

holidays again would go without spending it at home with family. it's been 7 christmases.

i decided to take that trip on january.�

moving houses, paying rent and bills will always be there. getting married, having kids, paedia care, school fees, extended family support is part of life.. it will always be there.�

so what am i saying here? i'm saying i will no longer put on hold things that we, i, wanted to do just because of these part of life. yes, i'm seizing the day. we can always earn back the money we spent, but the time loss, the moment of bliss and happiness of being there and doing what we always wanted to do can fade away. the hours, the days, cannot be rewinded. so why wait when we're old and grey and too fragile to take that adventure? why not now?

i'm feeling excited. as clarisse vaughan has said from "the hours", this moment here of happiness is happiness. right now.

and they strike again

2012-01-17T19:16:00.001+08:00

mami: noah you're stepping on my foot!
noah: no mommy... my slippers stepped on your foot!

hmp!

nixon: mommy, how do you spell 'caint'? (sounds something like that to me)
mami: is there such a word? what do you mean?
nixon: you know, it's like when they're being punished
mami: hay naku nixon, CANED! (i even asked him to check the dictionary susme!)

bakit ba kasi sounds like letter 'T' dito pag past tense! HMP!

where have all the eyebrows gone!

2012-01-15T06:43:00.001+08:00

was trying to grow back some 'brow tail' since late 2010... just noticed that the magic is gone. i tried resorting to brow liners, but it seems off with the growing tail. you know that feeling when you look in the mirror and feels like your brows are levitating over the liner, its disappointing! so i'd have to cut a little bit of it every time. and now i'm reaping the effects... it just decided not to grow back anymore. now i have to learn the art of brow lining, besides gel eye lining ugh!

Easter Island Underworld | National Geographic Channel

2011-08-09T10:24:00.002+08:00

"i would want to visit this place someday... someday..."

Explorer opens your eyes to riveting, untold adventures.

easter island!!!

:)

sms & emails

2011-08-06T16:10:00.001+08:00

it started out with an early sms which affected the entire day. followed by the opening of that mail.
the bread with chizwhiz made up for it somehow.. and the quick chat with a dear sibling.

the butterflies in my stomach caused it to miss my lunch with a very good Pa-lady friend.
and the delay that night caused me to miss my dinner/drinks with another Pa-lady friend.

i feel so terrible for missing chillax hours with these beautiful, fun Pa-ladies. next week, i'm totally setting aside quality time with them.

as it turns out

2011-07-16T10:27:00.000+08:00

it's been a more than a month now, so far so good with the new post. during my hunt, i was telling myself that i should think 'long term' as a priority

i was choosing between two options then. sad to say, the one that i really wanted didn't suffice. and after a month, i heard some awful news about 'the other'. as it turned out, the posting didn't materialize.

to think i was so disappointed then, and i kept on asking Him, why? why didn't it happen for me?

now, i'm so thankful it really didn't. i'm very thankful to be working side by side with dadi :) i had to blurt out, "thank God!".

cheers!

2011-07-08T13:52:00.000+08:00

happy 6th birthday to us :)

math-tinik

2011-07-01T10:15:00.000+08:00

the apple does not fall far from the tree

i'm so proud of nixon. he never fails to amuse us when it comes to his studies. of course there would be tough times and this moment, is a moment of celebration and triumph... not just for us parents, but for our friends and families as well.

he got first place in class and 87th in Asia.

i think so too

2011-06-15T18:11:00.002+08:00

forgiveness and mercy can be applicable if there is recognition and acceptance of fault, followed by sincere apologies and repentance. then, it is only rightful and deserving to say, "I forgive you".

isn't it funny to be asked, "when will you forgive?", when the culprit isn't exactly aware or directly denies affliction?

shoe-pulsive

2011-06-15T18:00:00.001+08:00

i hate myself when i get to the point of letting go...

...of shoeseseses that i bought impulsively!

i normally have dilemmas buying shoes. first of all, my feet are wide, and in this country *where girls are so petite*, getting the right shoes for me is next to impossible! i envy those who could fit perfectly in their cinderella dream. getting the comfy & pretty ones are usually way out of my budget.

i bought 2 pairs from nine west 2years ago... ayun, so far i gave one pair to my sis grace and the other one has been sitting inside the shoe cabinet :( i really like the design and color, unfortunately, the flexing of the leather didn't happen. same goes with my ergo lab shoes... and here i thought it should be feet-friendly!

so now, the hardest part is accepting that it's not meant to be and i have to send them off somewhere where they can be useful.

sigh

strangers in the night

2011-05-31T13:48:00.001+08:00

i've been having dreams of people i have not seen in my entire life. when i wake up, i would see their faces in my mind... the dream is so vivid. i can remember features, colors, clothes, expressions, emotions. i don't really know what it means. if its premonition, then why have i not seen them still? so strange...

sometimes i would even dream about being in another place, in another time, in another circumstance. but the memories of these dreams won't last 'til i finally wake up. i could only remember glimpse of some details. but i know in my heart and mind that i was somewhere else.

maybe i'm reading too much philip pullman and j.k. rowling.

blowing bubbles

2011-05-30T09:27:00.001+08:00

whenever i see a gumamela flower, it sends me back in time when we were little girls, playing near the shrubberies and picking out gumamela leaves and flowers. we would remove the stalks and sip the sweet juice for it taste good as candy. i can't really remember if it does taste sweet.

of course our main goal was to really make a bubble mix using the flower and leaves. we would smash them with a rock then put them on a tub of water. then we would get the thinnest walis tingting sticks *broomstick* and tie them up to a knot and will be used as the bubble maker. out of frustration of not achieving the right texture of the gumamela bubble mix, we sneak in at our laundry basket and scoop some detergents, without our mom's knowledge hehehe!

i think most of us experienced this during our childhood years way back in pinas... i'm seeing a lot of heads nodding and grins in your faces right now. =D

a piece of me

2011-05-20T12:06:00.001+08:00

here's a new piece of me... done last may 2nd. thanks to mareng ne for lending his tat artist, nick.

the flower is a lily.. personifying my nick during high school. the chinese character is my surname. i haven't thought about completing my name coz i'm also toying with the idea of having my sons' chinese names tat as well *in the future i suppose*.

into deep

2011-03-21T18:16:00.000+08:00

right now, i'm in my cave, trying to calm down and compose myself. at this moment, at this instant, i really really wish i was there... that we are there. that this shouldn't be happening if we were there. i really wanna be there so badly, i'm crying and hurting inside so bad. i'm pushing away all thoughts of regrets, frustrations, anger and blame. why, why does it have to be so hard? why can't it happen?

aloe hair!

2011-03-18T17:05:00.000+08:00

please don't judge me. this is the only way i know, my last resort to alleviate my hair's agony.

it's been 3months now since it started falling off incessantly. i was ignoring it at first, thinking it must be normal for a week or two. but by golly! i'm so scared right now 'coz it keeps falling off even if i just comb my hair once a day (during mornings only while its wet). my suspect: the hair lotion i'm applying c/o pink beauty to keep my curls neat. it doesn't come cheap mind you. i stopped using it for about 3weeks now and my alternative is ginvera olive oil, but the same number of hair strands are still falling off huhuhu!

while some of you might go for hair technology, treatments and damage control products, i decided to go back to basics. i don't wanna shed more pennies to only regret it later on. my solution: aloe vera. yes, i bought a big 'leaf' in the grocery and asked my ever reliable hubby to scrub the aloe jelly(?) on my scalp and leave it there for half an hour before washing. i just had a sudden flash of memory of my mom helping a neighbor scrub aloe vera while having their usual afternoon chitchats way back my childhood days. there was even another hair remedy... 'gugo' bark, which you soak into the water and lathers up like shampoo and is applied to the scalp and hair. if aloe vera doesn't work, then i need to get this 'gugo' bark. yes, i'm desperate.

lizzy and mr. darcy

2011-03-12T06:59:00.001+08:00

have you ever had this feeling when you read a book that you really like... and you wanna keep reading it because you're so excited and thrilled to know the what's gonna happen next *even if you have watched it in a movie already*? yet at the same time, you dread that the pages are going by so fast, there's just few of them left so you wanna stop and you wished that the pages would not end...

that's how i felt while reading jane austen's pride and prejudice.

i'm so happy and very satisfied after reading the book itself. crazy enough, i watched the movie immediately that night after reading it. recognizing the dialogues in the book being spoken by the characters made it so real, especially the part when lady catherine de bourgh confronted elizabeth. mrs. bennet is even funnier in the book, and mr. darcy's confessions of love for lizzy is so heartwarming! i'm so in love with him! hahaha!

here are my fave quotes in the book:

Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us. - Mary, Chapter 5

"Really, Mr. Collins," cried Elizabeth with some warmth, "you puzzle me exceedingly. If what I have hitherto said can appear to you in the form of encouragement, I know not how to express my refusal in such a way as to convince you of its being one." - Chapter 19

"An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do." - Mr. Bennet, Chapter 20 <-- this really made me laugh while i was in the train!

She was suddenly roused by the sound of the door-bell, and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself, who had once before called late in the evening, and might now come to inquire particularly after her. But this idea was soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected, when, to her utter amazement, she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room. In an hurried manner he immediately began an inquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better. She answered him with cold civility. He sat down for a few moments, and then getting up, walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised, but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes, he came towards her in an agitated manner, and thus began: "In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you." <-- super kilig moment!

"I cannot fix on the hour, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun." - Mr. Darcy

crazy!

2011-03-08T18:06:00.001+08:00

this guy is just so great, i have to share his performance to ya' all... get ready to be amazed

funny wants and grudges

2011-02-28T19:08:00.000+08:00

some of the things my sons told me/us the past week na nakakagulat at nakakatawa...

nixon: mami, next time can we go to australia?
me: *recovering from shock* huh? why?
nixon: i heard from tita isa that her trip was fun and exciting. i would like to go there too
me: ok, tell your daddy

anlayo kaagad ng narating ng pangarap ng kuya ko ha... kailangang pag-ipunan susme!

noah: mami, i love you! i love it when you come home at daytime

what he means is, he's happy when i come home from work na may liwanag pa. dito kasi sa gapor, mga 7pm usually maliwanag pa.

nixon: mami, can we have another baby brother or a baby sister?
me: *shock na naman* why??
nixon: i just want one more playmate

wow kuya, madaling gawin yan, mahirap i-maintain!

yesterday, i was on searching on my mac while noah was answering his activity book. sa sobrang busy ko, di ko sya naririnig hanggang sa lumapit na lng sya sakin, sabay sabi, "mami! is there something wrong with your ears???"
me: ha? what happened?
noah: i keep calling you to help me with my book!
me: ay sorry baby, i didn't hear you.. what were you asking?
noah: hmp! *with cross arms on chest* i don't like you because there is something wrong with your ears!!!!

pinigilan ko talagang tumawa! sinumbong pa nya ko kay tita juvs! *our nanny* ang kulit!!! imbes na sabihin nyang, i don't like you because you're not listening to me, talagang tinuya nya ang tenga ko! hahahaha

a matter of no consequence

2011-02-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

i have this notion, while i was reading 'the little prince' by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, that the book would be somewhat shallow and probably be categorized as a children's book. but after reading it, i couldn't help but put it in my 'to-reread' list. here are my fave quotes... i will leave them for your own inspiration :)

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
i think most of us is struck by this truth: once we become adults, we forget that we were once kids and loose our imagination... that's why everything becomes very complicated.

"One must command from each what each can perform, the king went on. "Authority is based first of all upon reason. If you command your subjects to jump into the ocean, there will be a revolution. I am entitled to command obedience because my orders are reasonable.", said the King. " Then my sunset?" insisted the little prince, who never let go of a question once he had asked it. "You shall have your sunset. I shall command it. But I shall wait, according to my science of government, until conditions are favorable."
this one, for me, pertains to responsible governance and being logical subjects.

Here is my secret. It is very simple: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.
i didn't know that this quote comes from this book. it is true... the physical fades, but the heart and compassion remains.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
i'm very fond with the fox in this book. he's a feeling creature, and his words are wise. for me, it's like when you start caring and loving someone, you nurture the relationship. and whatever the circumstance is, whether it blooms or fails, we should take responsibility and not absolve ourselves from the commitment.

*my heartfelt thanks to pazette for recommending this book :)*

some kinda stupid

2011-02-19T08:38:00.001+08:00

hay di ko alam kung talagang stress lang ako sa work or what! i was about to register my starbucks prepaid card online so i can keep track of my balance and top-up... so the instruction says, scratch the back to reveal the security pin code. and this is what happened... take note on the lower part...

i said to myself, bakit wala namang number!??! then scratch ko ulit sa right side, wala parin! i'm getting frustrated na, so i scratched the left side. hay naku wala parin!!! tapos i looked up at the card, perfect! andun pala sa taas un pin code!!!! syempre di ko naisip na un long gray line was for swiping diba!!!!! haaaayyyy it's really just one of those days arrggghhh!

ayan so i got a new one to replace it via online... syempre i was embarassed to go to a starbucks branch. anong sasabihin ko!? naisip kong alibi was, my son played with my card. ang salbahe kong nanay!

of nuptial and natal

2011-02-16T19:22:00.000+08:00

i was just joking gabe this morning telling him, "oh btw, you know i'm still not used to having the idea or saying the words brother-in-law to my friends! hahaha!". i'm so happy that our family is yet again, joined by another person. i believe they are both gifts to each other. i told grace, you know you don't have to be scared and alone now. someone who really cares for you and loves you will forever suffer your stubborness and ill-treatments haha! kidding aside, during that day, i think i was freaking inside... i was surprisingly speechless and quiet before the ceremony. one of my sisters is about to get wed, and i'm sincerely and utterly filled with joy seeing their happy faces that day. my little sister who usually says i won't get married, is finally hitched! :)

of course the following week was noah's birthday. valentines is usually quick, short, inexpensive since his birth, but we really don't mind because we love him so much and we'd rather splurge on his birthday. the weekend before, we already planned to cook him some spaghetti and chicken, his faves. then come monday, he requested roasted chicken with lots of gravy from tita juvs. agreeably, we obliged by having dinner in kenny rogers at novena and buying a cake of his choice. it was a very fun evening. :)

minsan.. sometimes.. napapadalas

2011-02-13T13:46:00.001+08:00

minsan masarap mag-share ng thoughts, lalo na pag masaya ka. ganun ako, mahilig ako mag-share ng mga bagay na nakapagpapasaya sakin. pag may nagustuhan akong pagkain na natikman ko somewhere, bibili ako ng marami nun sa susunod tapos pamimigay ko sa mga kaibigan ko. kasi pwedeng sumaya rin sila.

minsan magluluto ako, at pag naging successful, dadamihan ko at ilalagay ko sa plastic the next day at iaabot ko sa kanila... kahit pa magmukha akong baduy at chipangga dahil naka pang-office clothes ako with killer heels at may bitbit na paperbag na mukhang pang-tapaw *take out*. basta naiisip ko lang, i'm sure matutuwa sila sa niluto ko.

pag may nakita ako sa malls na cute or usable item, kung kaya ko naman bilhin, i would buy it and give it as a gift. kahit pa ako un wala, basta sila meron.

minsan malungkot ako... pero pag naiisip kong mag-share sa kanila ng food or stuffs or happy stories, ok narin ako. minsan nga di daw nila halata na may dinadamdam na pala ako... di ko na lang iniinda, kasi pano na lang ang kaligayahan nila? pag tumahimik ako, ano na lang ang pag uusapan namin? pag huminto ako, pano na sila? di ko rin sigurado na pag ginawa ko un gusto ko, sasaya ako. at least alam ko, sigurado ako, na pag ginawa ko un pra sa kanila at masaya sila, masaya narin ako.

cool change

2011-02-06T00:24:00.002+08:00

minumulto na ko ng blog site ko so here i am, blogging away and getting back to biz. sorry, marami lang kasing nangyare recently with our lives for the past 2years na i have to recuperate and be in my own cave.

now, i'm trying to evolve and have a new mindset and tell stories in a different light. together with it is the restructuring of my site little by little. i have put up some new interesting links which i like to share kasi nakakaaliw talaga basahin mga post nila. just click away!

btw, i usually update and post using my multiply account kasi i load some pics over there so its easier to capture pics and export here. i redesigned it as well, may new skin na sya.

khmer siem reap trip

2011-01-31T00:34:00.000+08:00

my fascination with culture has lead me yet to another place i truly admire... that is siem reap, cambodia. i heard of their history and temples in my asian history class, but my attention got really drawn to it when i watched the movie, tomb raider.

they were mainly using USD as their trade currency, but you can also use cambodian riels. we stayed at steung siem reap hotel; conveniently located in the old french quarter and a few meters away from the old market, restaurants, atm machines, drugstores, bakery and pub street. angkor night market is like three blocks away. our trip falls on a dry, cool season (18-19deg C) on early mornings and late afternoons, while it hits 30-33deg C during mid day.

the highs during my trip was the 'temple hopping' of major landmarks: "angkor wat", "ta phrom", "bantey srei", and "bayon temple". it never ceased to amazed me how intricate the carvings were on the wall. our tourist guide, mr. somuch, told us that there were unending conflicts of religion in the old times... temples were revered and built for hindus, then later on by buddhist. so the conflicting carvings and vandalisms were evident on most of them. i was astonished how these different bricks and rocks have formed faces that have definite features. and i was astonished at the thought of being on a temple on a temple! we went up to temples
15meters high only to find more temples on top haha! and it felt like we were just on the ground.

(left) bayon temple, (right) ta phrom or tomb raider

the locals were very calm, accommodating, soft spoken and 'eager' (i'm speaking for tuktuk drivers and market vendors here). most of them would really sell their services just so they could save for the rainy season. it's not ideal to go there on monsoons, the place would be soaked in mud and floods. i was surprise that most locals we encountered were not aware of what day it was...

us to tuktuk driver: vichet, please fetch us on saturday morning, around 9am

vichet: ok ok. what day is today?

us: its thursday, so the day after tomorrow.

another one with our tourist guide, mr. somuch...

somuch: so until when are you here in cambodia?

us: til sunday morning

somuch: what day is today?

us: uuhh.. friday. so the day after tomorrow.

somehow it made us think that while they let each day pass by without minding about the day and time, while we on the other hand, are always trying to count the minutes, hours, day in a week. it was a breath of fresh air, very laid back and relaxed... while we urban creatures kept pulling for our weekends, which honestly just go by unnoticed.

major highlight was crossing out one item off my bucket list... climbing up a mountain. i'm proud to have finished that 1.5km hike up kbal spean and sunk our feet in the cool waterfall. the terrain was a bit tough and challenging... halfway, i even asked myself why am i punishing myself on my freakin' birthday hahaha! but it was truly rewarding. our day ended with a delicious dinner treat in bopha restaurant serving local delicacies followed by shopping souvenirs in the flea market. *side note: mr. somuch and our driver laughed at us because we were ordering what they call 'peasant food'! we loved amok & sam lor macheu, i bought spices back for cooking them.*

1.3km more to go! aja aja!

(left) amok & khmer style beef soup, (right) sam lor macheu & khmer prawn w/ veggies

when we visited the landmine museum, my heart felt sadness and pity for the cambodians. it was just around 1990's that they started patching themselves up after the french colonization and pol pot's reign. it's understandable why most of them would simply live by their means because they're scared to farm or fish with the fear of a landmine or bomb exploding in their midst. the initiative of landmine clearing was started by aki ra, who was chosen top 10 cnn hero for 2010.. kudos to him! they have a camp for young and old victims, teaching them how to continue living their lives normally.

overall, our trip was truly a break from the busy daily city life and parenthood. a perfect time for dadi and me to explore a new society, be with a diverse crowd, and discover life in a different perspective. the trip was insightful and i'm very glad cambodia was part of our 'to-visit' list :)

gift of a lifetime

2011-01-13T16:22:00.001+08:00

before going back home to pinas last december, dadi handed me a gift. he said he hasn't found any christmas gift for me yet, so this is the best he came up with for the moment.. and i really appreciate it.

his words were, "mami, this is my gift of a lifetime.. i want us to read all of these together in our journey". so the beginning of our book saga. i will list down some that i have already read.

1. wuthering heights
2. don quixote *i'm adding this to my reread list*
3. harry potter series
4. his dark materials trilogy
5. memoirs of a geisha

hmm i'm still 45 books short. hopefully i can read 5 this year. these would include: pride and prejudice, life of pi, the bell jar, men without women, and on the road.

on another note, i want to share with you a site that i discovered called, manybooks. i'm so grateful and delighted to have bumped into this! they allow you to download ebooks free! and you can format them depending on your reader. so i'm getting mine in a pdf iphone format! how cool is that! :)

the eye

2011-01-07T05:20:00.001+08:00

no this is not a horror flick. this is not a review. and this doesn't have anything to do with the probe team.

i'm talking literally about my eyes. yes, i have declared and finally admitted that it's time to put attention to it. previously, it wasn't a concern that my eyelashes were too short, and mascaras don't suffice. and i was just happy and contented with those glittery liners that doesn't require too much art and time to apply. i surrendered to the idea that there's a possible solution. even makeup artist back home doesn't really satisfy my requirements. and my eyebrows doesn't really bother me before, but now i feel that i should learn to grow them in the right direction.

recently, i took interest on other people's eyelids and i began to notice and got conscious with mine. maybe i could do something about it. initially, i inquired about eyeliners, then some friends offered their brands and fave eye items. bobbie brown gel liners, faceshop and mac. they said youtube is helpful too.

and so i will venture, and experiment on how i can produce stunning chinky eyes. it's gonna be a challenge physically, emotionally and financially. oh gawd i don't know if i should really invest on these products. i know that i have to try on some before i really find the perfect one for me. if things doesn't work with the lashes, maybe i should get extensions? haha

this is one of my projects this year. i hope i could scratch it off my list by the end of the year.

project w

2011-01-07T05:06:00.003+08:00

its like dejavu. i had once this feeling of excitement.. the pump of adrenalin.. the euphoria of realizing a dream.

but its not really for me though, but i'm glad she's one of the closest people in my heart. my li'l sis had said 'yes'! and we're so excited! well i'm more excited so to speak.

ooohh my planner will be very colorful this year.. and again, thank god for the starbucks planner!

and oh, btw, i got my digital weighing scale na. thanks trace for the advice. one item off my list. :)

my twenty-10

2011-01-02T22:48:00.001+08:00

I don’t have the habit of summarizing the year that was, of thoughts and events that happened. But now, I realized it’s a proper way of reflecting on what transpired, and how it could be improved and to inspire oneself to achieve more. When I became thirty-ish, I suddenly felt the need to ‘document’ things to do, and put constraints to myself in order to attain my goals.

I’m very blessed last year to have been surrounded by people who helped me grow and who offered sincere friendships, while some were rekindled. It made me go back to the real me, only to be improved and purified.

I suddenly learned to appreciate the likes of Debussy, Beethoven, Bach, Chopin, Mozart and of course Glee. I’m now reading Persuasion, and hopes to read Pride and Prejudice soon. The turning point was Wuthering Heights. It was challenging at first, but the exquisite meanings and formalities of conversations made me hang on. I finally finished reading Sophie’s World. I got it last 2004, started but never able to catch up. I told myself that this time, I won’t pressure myself into understanding everything, but to only pick up what was essential. And oh, the highlight was meeting Mitch Albom! His book, Have a Little Faith, is gonna be my yearly read.

The art of letting go is still an ongoing process for me, and the never ending questioning of Why’s is still under construction. But friends’ reminders are always handy. Acceptance is gradually penetrating little by little each day, although there would still be times of hurt and expectations. I’ll be working on that this year.

I have a planner, from Starbucks. This is gonna be my first. I got a beautiful one to inspire me to go back to my year list; so far, I have 14. By this time, next year, I hope I would be proud to have completed them all.

quick ones

2010-06-28T17:59:00.000+08:00

reposting from my fb status, dated today:
me: whats d name of ur new teacher?
nixon: i dunno
me: do you have chinese remedial tomorrow?
nixon: i dunno
me: e what do u know???
nixon: i know nothing about it.
*kablag!!!*

this one i haven't posted yet, but is a series of 'santa claus' and 'snow' querries:
noah: mami, i want santa claus to come here on christmas
me: *looks at dadi* ok noah, i will tell him
noah: but how can u tell him, he lives in the north pole? he's very far away
me: ok, i will text him or call him
noah: can u call him now? i want to tell him i want bumblebee
me: *looks again at dadi*

i think He took the hint.

noah: i want to make a snowman
me: ahh.. we don't have snow in singapore
nixon: then why don't we go to a place where there's lots of snow?
me: hmmm.. ok i'll let your dadi know

i hope He would take the hint. seriously.

gratitude

2010-05-16T19:30:00.000+08:00

i'm writing this entry down to remember recent moments that has made my heart overwhelmed with joy as my boys expressed their gratitude towards me. i'm so touched by their simple way of making me feel so loved and blessed to have them.

nixon's school exams went through for the past 2weeks. i helped him review, and there was this one english composition that he has to make out of 4 picture boxes. i sat by his side and guided him on how to understand the scenes and make a story out of each. after we finished, he told me, "mommy, i think i'm gonna get very good marks for this. thank you so much for helping me do this.". i feel so proud of him, he recognizes and appreciates me even in that simple words.

today, as tita juvs was off, i was inspired to make tuna pasta with white sauce. we had some giniling for lunch but noah chose to wait for my pasta. once done, we put some on his plate and he inhaled the scent of the food then exclaimed, "mmm yummy! it smells so good!". he took his first bite, and with mouth full, he said, "mommy, thank you so much for cooking a very delicious food for us! its so yummy, i like it... no, i LOVE it!". aawww, my heart was filled with love and joy! :)

of course, di naman magpapatalo ang daddy... i Like the food, i Love the cook! :D mwehehe!

i think i will proceed to get that oven... my boys wanted a cooking/baking session with me. noah & nixon already planned on a 3-tier cake. good luck to us!

jazz it up! wink

2010-03-06T18:49:00.000+08:00

i'm not a big fan of goodbye's.. well, who is anyway. maybe i'm in denial, that's what you may think. but maybe i'm just a believer.. that it's not the end. that i'll come back soon or we'll meet again someday soon.

when dadi left for work here in sg, i never shed a tear. when my time came to follow and left behind nixon, i braved the airport, hugged him tight and kissed him sweetly. i had in my thoughts that i'll get him soon. when i left for the states, dadi and i didn't make a big fuss in the airport. no crying, no hugging tight on the last hour before boarding. not even a word goodbye or sweet nothings or cheesiness-es.

today, when one of the best-est person in my life left to give birth back home in ph, i acted naturally as if she has never gone. i went to work the way i used to every day of the week.. i tended to the household and the kids. yes we met midweek, only to walk with her going to tapa king and i left for the gym. how weird is that? instead of staying with her for all evening, i decided to do as planned. yesterday, friday, i didn't even think about going to her place and spending more time. i texted her, and wrote my fb status tagging her. last night, i read her message for me in fb, and my tears just rolled down unexpectedly and dadi noticed it. then we laughed and i continued to cry. now i know why roylann loves her so much.

i also know now how true of a friend she is to me. i know we'll be friends forever. i didn't think it was a big deal she went back home.. i'm confident we'll meet again and nothing will change. the few months we spent knowing each other was awesome. she believed in me, and i believe in her. she never ceases to endure my craziness, and i'm very thankful. :)

til then, my precious friend.

p.s. i think i like precious more than taba :P hahaha!

teeny bits

2010-02-21T08:43:00.000+08:00

i've been thinking some 'things to do before forty'.. i came up with some which i hope would happen.

- learn to swim and skate (ice or rollers) *oo na, sounds loserish but i should learn!*
- have a baby girl *if god permits.. i'm envious of those being able to dress up their princesses*
- have my own cooking over (the real thing) and bake a cake
- lose 10kg *don't mock me for needing to invest 9yrs to achieve it*
- get myself an LV or gucci *like i said in point4, don't mock me.. haha!*
- read one of shakespear's novels *any suggestions?*

rekindling family

2009-11-07T17:10:00.000+08:00

my manila vacation was not planned. i'm not sure if i should really thank the recent ondoy for giving us an excuse to go back home. but anyway, all i can say is, its awesome. i never felt like i was the child again, the daughter again, the sister again, the friend again.

i thought it would be a very busy vacation... scavenger hunting for stuffs to go in to our new home. but fortunately, things were pretty much settled on the 2nd day. we bought sala set & dining set, cooking ware and some groceries. giving is really a very rewarding experience especially to your family. i was happy to see my mom glowing while looking at her new orange & black sala set. and i gave in to my father's request, a tv/radio rack that he really liked which was perfect for our mini sala. i was touched seeing them put things together and excited to make the house cozy and warm. my bro and sisses were so thrilled for the stuffs we got them. yeah, it's really been a long time since i've been with my parents and siblings.

bonding with long time friends was the best. i've never been so happy being with real people and friends who truly care and were genuinely happy to see and hear from you. who, after all these years, remained in touch. jeng & peachie, made me feel young again, like back when we were in highschool and giggle a lot. seeing peter, bien & allan was also invigorating. i've missed these people.

after being in sg for 5years, i suddenly missed being around my family everyday. i know sometimes its unbearable, but its also assuring to be with the real people who love and care about you. its being around people who you can really talk to, that's what i truly missed. i don't know, maybe i just got tired being the adult, that i missed being the child.

i'm very thankful i got this break. and i was definitely happy seeing the smiles on my kids' faces when they saw me back home. =)

fail forward

2009-10-03T19:45:00.000+08:00

i would like to re-post this email sent to me... its a constant reminder that i shouldn't hate myself for making bad decisions and being with d wrongs. thanks ice! :)

_________________________________

When You Fail, Fail Forward (by John Maxwell)

Then he began to curse and swear, saying, "I do not know the Man!" Immediately a rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the word of Jesus who had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So he went out and wept bitterly. Matthew 26:74-75

Everybody fails, errs, and makes mistakes. You've heard the saying "To err is human, to forgive, divine." Alexander Pope wrote that over 250 years ago. And he was only paraphrasing an ancient saying that was common during the time of the Romans. Recently I came across something called "Rules for Being Human." I think several of these describe well the state we're in:

Rule #1: You will learn lessons.
Rule #2: There are no mistakes - only lessons.
Rule #3: A lesson is repeated until it is learned.
Rule #4: If you don't learn the easy lessons, they get harder.
Rule #5: You'll know you've learned a lesson when your actions change.

You see, writer Norman Cousins was right when he said, "The essence of man is imperfection." Failure is simply a price we pay to achieve success. If we learn to embrace that new definition of failure, then we are free to start moving ahead - and failing forward.

ber months are back!

2009-09-01T23:55:00.000+08:00

...and oh, i just remembered... today, the countdown officially starts! yiippee!!! 115days til christmas!!! love love love the holiday season.

♫ its beginning to look a lot like christmas.. everywhere you go except sg LOL ♫

getting the hang of it

2009-09-01T19:35:00.000+08:00

there would be times when i miss most things... of how fun it used to be and how everyone is so connected. but nowadays, due to work schedule and family bonding related matters, we're getting used to the idea of being with the boys most of the times.

right now, there are so many things happening around our family that keeps us busy. nixon is making so much progress in school, although we still keep watch on his english going towards singlish. he's making new friends and is now having crushes *blush blush si kuya*. noah on the other hand is so tabachingching hahaha! the thought of going home to hug him is enough to send me flying out of the office haha! when i do get home, i'm rewarded with hugs and kisses and a very heartwarming, "mommy i miss you so much"-greeting. dadi also makes effort these days to come home early and go out with the kids every weekends.

i found my sanctuary... i'm so blessed to have them in my life.

to him

2009-08-21T09:50:00.000+08:00

its raining so hard outside... blessings are pouring on your special day. we pray to god that you may have more love to give and more life to share. may you have the strength and courage to be the best that you can be. may all your dreams come true.

happy birthday daddy nino!!! from all of us, who loves you so dearly.

a reminder

2009-08-17T20:00:00.000+08:00

i received a message from facebook, from 'God wants you to know' application. the message goes...

On this day of your life, Aslee, we believe God wants you to know...
... that happiness has nothing to do with pleasure.

You feel pleasure when you want something and you get it. Or when you don't want something and you remove it. Pleasure is always relative. Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer.

the part, 'Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect.' struck me the most. i guess that after feeling so exhausted and unhappy with my current work, i succomb to worldly things like pretty jewelries, fancy food, etc. and this reminder made me stop and realize that i should focus on the positives and blessings coming in right now. maybe i'm beginning to lose faith on that belief that everything will get better in time.

i should learn to manage my time and energy so i can reserve some for bonding moments with my kids. and i don't really need to tire myself of endless issues that have no significance in our lives right now. so, now i'm blogging again hehe! :D

little big ones

2009-07-27T13:57:00.000+08:00

on a regular saturday lunch together at home, here's one funny conversation we had with the kids.

dadi : so nixon, what do you want to be when you grow up?

nixon : i want to be a... starts with the letter 'A' *here we go again with the famous guessing game*

dadi : astronaut?

mami : aeronaut?

nixon : followed by letter 'R'

dadi : argonaut?

nixon : no! an Artist!

*dadi and i exchanged glances with a smirk(?) on the face*

dadi : why do you want to be an artist?

nixon : so i can have my own collection to sell for the kids.

i think what he meant to say is, he's going to have a fundraiser for the kids by selling his collections. he got it from watching higglytown heroes, and the guilty character is yubi.

dadi : how about you noah, what do you want to be when you grow up?

noah : i want to be a daddy! *ayun, i think i'm gonna faint!*

dadi : *grins* why?

noah : because i want to be like you daddy!

OMG!!! na-speakless ako! Alert alert!!!

shapes

2009-07-24T13:46:00.000+08:00

the thought has never occurred to me... that this moment, this instance will happen in my life. an instance when i have to make a decision to stop the line. i'm not ready, i'm not sure what will happen, i don't know if i'll ever be brave enough to mean it, to make it happen. but i have to...

it came to a point that drawing the line to fulfill the circle will have to come to an end. when it has arrived at a corner where continuing the line is painful already and creates agony, the only thing to do is cut it.

maybe its time to draw another line, in a separate sheet... in a pleasant stationary, where new circles can be drawn again. new and colorful ones that will erase entirely the hurt and regrets.

hugging the rock

2009-07-02T18:24:00.003+08:00

*this book was given to me by dadi rak... he was very fond of it. he was all smiles when he handed it over to me. these are the lines from the 1st page...*

No Room
When my mom decides to run away from home
she packs up her car
with all the things that matter most
to her.

Her guitar
and some books
all her CDs
her clothes
her shoes
Grandma's music box from the fireplace mantle
and the quilt from the bed she shares with Dad.

She jams plastic grocery bags
filled with soap and shampoo
between the small spaces
left in between things
and tied a couple of suitcases to the roof.
At the last minute she
throws in a few dishes
some towels
and a potted red geranium
that guards the front porch.

Dad tells her not to pack stuffs too high
so she can still see out the back window
but she ignores him
and shoves her pillow
between her guitar case and portable TV.

By the time she's done
there's no room left for anything else.
No room left for Dad.

And no room left for me.

kid's humor

2009-06-27T06:26:00.002+08:00

last saturday, we were on our way to mareng hani's baby shower. then we saw nixon and noah's friends in the playground.

noah: mami, who's that? *pointing to a thin girl w/ protruding teeth and ponytails*
me: your friend! *pardon me, i don't know their names*
noah: no mami! its chicken little!

then i looked back at the little girl... it made me think, then i suddenly realize why.

he was referring to abby mallard.. nyahahah! my son is a bully at 3, tsk tsk! *alert alert!*

noah is growing too fast physically, right now he's weighing 23kg! he won't fit into the regular XL, XXL diapers (12-18kg)... so we were left with no option, we got the XXXL (18-25kg). imagine, 14pieces costing 21SGD! omgulay! hay we were thinking of getting him adult diapers instead, what do u think? :D

on another note, i'm admiring nixon's development lately. i know we haven't been around much lately becoz dadi and i are swamped with work. but nixon was able to handle his holiday homeworks on his own. he's now into reading books like oliver twist, gulliver's travel and peter pan. i hired him a tutor for his mandarin, so he can have someone to converse with in a regular basis. he's enjoying it, and he can understand his tutor even when she's communicating with him in pure mandarin. he also refers to the chinese-english dictionary on his own. one night i sat with him to teach him how to search for the words that he's looking for, and he was very interested. the following day, i saw him doing his assignment using it.

toughing the toughs

2009-06-18T21:32:00.000+08:00

there will really be times that you will encounter a boss/superior that would persistently annoy you or compete with you. its just sad that while you want to give him/her as much respect as you want, it just wouldn't suffice because he/she makes you feel incompetent and a moron. sometimes you want to give him/her the benefit of the doubt, but more often, he competes with you and goes on power trips. sometimes he/she just wouldn't take responsibility and throws you in with the sharks. i just don't understand why bosses wouldn't talk to other bosses (yours versus your user or client).

sigh... anyway, need to go back to work.

farewell, lei

2009-05-28T16:35:00.002+08:00

*from left to right: bernice, lei, adel, me and dini*

i realized that i don't post entries with pictures lately, so i was contemplating on which story i could post... i never thought and expected that this would be it...

she was lei to others, lani to some, lakambini to all of us. leilani zabella never fails to make us smile with her simple quirks and her happy disposition is infectious.

she was tall, morena, has long shiny hair and a bright smile. she belonged to another section, but we instantly clicked when we first met as freshmen from siena qc. she's so down to earth... even if she belongs to the upper class, she won't mind having an average person as a friend. our birthdays are 2 days apart, it usually falls on our school fair during which we would pay the announcement booth to greet each other on air.

after high school, we drifted apart... i never heard much from her until we were graduating in college. thanks to friendster, we got connected once again. and from there, we got back to our yearly tradition of greeting each other on our birthdays. and when we got a chance last september to see each other in LA, we were both thrilled. we joined the other girls for dinner and were able to catch up.

today, my friend hya informed me that lei is gone... it didn't sink in because i was busy at work. during lunch time i went back to our photos in multiply. and i can't help but feel the loss so deep in my heart. she has so many dreams, she has so many things to accomplish, she has yet to get wed. she was 30years old... i love you lei. you will definitely be missed.

*life is so short... shorter for others. that's why we should cherish life and love. we should try our hardest to express our love towards people who matter in our lives.*

i have conquered

2009-05-24T13:53:00.000+08:00

last night i was sleepless. i'm both excited and agitated. it's the first time i'm joining a marathon, and dadi was suppose to join me. but becoz he has to work, i would have to be strong on my own.

this morning at 7:20am, i joined the 10km singapore passion run (competitive). i felt sad being alone amidst all those who were anticipating the start of the race. when the horn sounded, everyone started running... i went from brisk walking to jogging on my own pace. i told myself that i won't be pressured by those people passing by. as isa put it, just chill.. don't rush, no pressure, enjoy it.

by 4km, i was beginning to feel exhausted and i was blaming dadi for convincing me to signup for the 10km, when i could've been going back already if i had registered to the 5km. there was a fork ahead, and i was thinking if i should go back and quit or if i should push myself to try some more. the latter won. after reaching 7km, i checked my timer and found out that i have been jogging *and walking* for 1hour and 7minutes already. the blazing sun made me jog and walk faster.

at 8km, i started to get worried. i thought i may have missed the path where i'm supposed to go round back. and then i saw the mark and felt relieved. finally, i will be on the other side of the road, the path to the finish line.. hoooraayy!!! i was aiming for 2hours to finish the whole stretch... i did it in 1hour and 48minutes. :)

spontaneous thoughts

2009-05-23T10:12:00.000+08:00

i'm writing this blog entry while plotting our menu for the week and listing down my grocery list while telling nixon to finish his lunch, while asking noah to sit still and watch tv and stop throwing things to his brother. o diba multitasking haha!

creating a 'diverse' menu for the week is a real challenge for me. it always has to have at least 2-3 kinds of veggie dishes and 2 varieties of soup dishes. fish once a week is also a must have. this requirement is for the kids. they enjoy veggies and fishes more than pork or beef. its because of the 'chewable properties' of veggies over meat. except for the case of adobo which is their favorite that i happily indulge them with chicken and pork. our dear noahby loves chicken a lot. however, chicken is to be avoided in a day that dadi will eat in or bring his baon to work. we both abstain from chicken because we get allergies.

so now i should get back to my grocery list and multitask again afterwards (ie. pay bills, go over nixon's homework, put noah to nap, blog *hihi*). the joys and pains of motherhood. don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining.. in fact, i'm enjoying myself a lot.

breather

2009-05-18T20:02:00.000+08:00

i'm so relieved to be informed that my irritating pm is on leave from today until thursday then i'm on leave on friday for nixon's parent-teacher meeting. whew! it's like having a room for one week to breathe! yiippppeeee!!!

i'm so looking forward also to another 'toy'... hopefully, we can be united by end of this month :D

happy face

2009-05-17T20:28:00.000+08:00

it feels so nice to be able to wake up early again, like the normal average working person does almost 5days a week. and yesterday morning (saturday 9am), i was able to walk in the nearby mcdonalds and buy myself a big breakfast with rak *yiippeee!!!*. it's been a while since i last had that sausage mcmuffin with egg and coffee. :)

today, rak and i watched star trek. beam me up scottie! it was awesome! no dull moments, even if i'm not really a follower. great acting sylar *haha!*.

scripted

2009-05-13T16:20:00.000+08:00

this is my first vent for my current workload.

my team mate is on sick leave, an IR was raised this morning. i tried to know what happened, and realized it was my team mate's load. i asked for assistance from my pm, he blurted out all nonsense saying why you don't know this, the change is so simple blah blah blah. i told him, i'm not aware of the issue's history, i don't have the specs. i can't access lotus notes as i don't have my login id yet. so he told me what to do, and i did and he forwarded the email addresses of people to cc. so i did.

he then commented that i shouldn't write this way and that in the resolution/root cause part. he told me to apologize and he composed a sentence to write down instead. then the changes he asked me to do in the program was incomplete, we received another email. he asked me to apologize again for putting in the incorrect version.

wtf!? why can't he just take over the issue and answer those emails? how can i reply correctly and how can i defend myself when i don't even know the story. this pm of mine is trying to discredit my knowledge and likes to pass responsibilities when he should be the one in charge. *wwwuuuuuusssssaaaaaaaaaahhhh!*

pronounciation

2009-05-12T18:41:00.000+08:00

tagalog version muna tong blog ko para iwas gulo. mabuti ng nasa safe mode muna ang usaping ito.

lagi kong tinitingnan ang homework ni nixon pagkauwi ko sa bahay pagtapos ng opisina. inaalam ko kung tama mga sagot, at tinitingnan ko rin ang mga result ng quiz nya kung meron man. kanina pinapirmahan nya sa kin ang spelling notebook nya. eto ang pangungusap na nakasulat: The people wear afraid of the scary monster. (minsan sentence ang spelling nila, binibigkas ng guro ang pangungusap tapos isusulat nila.)

tinanong ko si nixon bakit ganun spelling nya samantalang alam naman nya na ang dapat na isinulat nya ay 'were' imbes na 'wear'. tinanong ko sya kung alam nya ibig sabihin ng 'wear', oo daw, pagsuot ng damit. sabi ko, o eh bakit eto sinulat mo eh alam mo naman di bagay dun sa pangungusap? ang sagot nya sa akin, mommy ang pagkakabigkas nya ay wear, hinde were kya un ang sinulat ko. paliwanag ko, anak, iba kasi magbigkas ng english ang mga tao dito kaya wag mo susundin palagi. alam mo naman ung tama, kaya un ang sundin mo. ang follow-up question nya, edi hinde pala laging tama ang mga guro?

haysusmaryosep! kasi naman, kakaiba magpronounce ng english mga tao dito. pano nga ba?

yesterday's mini conversation

2009-05-11T17:51:00.000+08:00

her: if i have stayed, we could all be there by now.

him: yeah, your right. lets try to do it again, this time i promise, no more stunts.

her: yeah right. as if you could make me believe you at this point in time. you have to earn it back.

him: i'm sorry.

mixed nuts

2009-05-06T18:43:00.000+08:00

righting a mistake, makes the i'm sorry a redemption.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

losing it, gaining it.. lost it for another... i hope it's all worth it for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

torn. the good... internet is up. facebook, gmail and yahoo mail can be accessed *yay!*. the bad... work from home, prod support, 24/7, chengdu china team members *ulk!*.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

wolverine... star trek... angels and demons... revolutionary road... oh man! this is so tough to have for a marathon. *crosses fingers and toes*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

oh! i almost forgot, it's mothers day this coming sunday. Happy mom's day to all you mothers out there! love u mader dear! :)

unfamiliar grounds

2009-05-05T20:37:00.003+08:00

i'm accustomed to taking risks and facing difficulties and fears. i have this strong conviction of myself, that whatever decision i make, i will be responsible for the consequences. during my grade school days, i had a big crush on this high school guy. one day i just decided to tell him that i like him and i admire his volleyball skills. that day, i knew that i'm that kind of person who would not just keep quiet and wait for things to unfold on its own. before i graduated high school, i had the audacity to tell my history teacher that i like him a lot. when i was a freshman in college, i greatly admired my trigonometry professor. i gave him a parker pen.. i had a feeling he knew my reasons. and when i was already working, i was bold enough to tell my then-best-friend-now-husband, that i was in love with him.

gone were the days when i would sit still and shy away from arguments and confrontations... i was always ready to give my opinions, sometimes, even without tact. not until recently, when a very traumatic experience made a head-on collision with my life, our lives. my whole being was itching to confront the devil and let all my grief, anger and pain burst out. but for the first time, i kept my distance and didn't bother to get any answers or to explain myself. i just stopped and burried myself in my cave. i focused all my energy on my kids and to reading. it became my zen.

it was tough, almost all the time i would cry. i felt so alone, but i was very thankful to those who would drop a message or two asking how my day was and how i am coping. my family oftentimes call and text me encouraging words. some came to visit, and i'm thankful to be blessed with friendly souls. it was a surprise to know that those who you don't often see were the first ones to sympathize. again, i'm forever grateful. :)

nothing much, really

2009-04-28T23:57:00.001+08:00

one's patience is really tested to its fullest by your growing children and ageing parents. if you muster the art of diplomatic conversation, then i salute you. =)

on another note, i'm glad and happy to say that i'm back on track. side trips were inevitable, you just have to know how to go around the obstacles. i just want to let my detractors know that you will never break me because i keep my faith intact and i'm focused to fight for my kids' happiness, whatever it takes. you haven't seen the real me, i have dealt with you in a subtle manner. if i were such a b*tch, you would've hidden your face in shame. i could've done worse, but my delikadesa and good manners kept me in the distance. i'm a mother and wife, it's my duty and place to protect my family. stop with your nonsense reasoning, you're in the wrong.

i'm now ready to break the silence. i'm no longer afraid to hold back my feelings or thoughts. i have surpassed my darkest hour, and i'm ready.. because i have braved the odds and i will never back down. there's always a blessing in disguise hiding somewhere after the storm. you just have to tough it out. *wink.. prang showbiz hehehe*

funnies by the boys

2009-04-05T10:07:00.000+08:00

last week, my nanny told me that nixon has a crush on a girl that he usually sees at the playground. her name is yenli *i'm not sure how to spell her name*. tita juvs *my nanny* even told me that they have this song to tease nixon... it goes like this, "my heart goes shalalalala, bog bog bog!". i guess most of you know this song. even noah would sing this to nixon whenever yenli is around and would put his two hands on his chest and impersonate a heart pumping action together with the song followed by a big laugh! makapang-asar lang kay kuya hahaha!

then tita juvs saw this pencil case with crayons in nixon's schoolbag that doesn't look like his. she asked him whose pencil case was it, and nixon answered its sabrina's *and then he blushed and made a timid smile*. tita juvs teased him who sabrina was and nixon said he likes her.

i confronted my son *panic mode na si mommy*..

me: nixon, who is yenli and sabrina?? do you like them??

nixon: no mommy! i'm not allowed to have a girlfriend because i'm not yet 21!

*and there i was, trying to phrase my question lightly so as not to make an impression and i was dumbfounded by his adult-like answer!*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

on another note about noah... we went to mcdonalds to buy some happy meal for the boys. when we got home, noah started feasting on the french fries and requested for catsup. we squeezed some on a small plate. after finishing the fries, there was still some catsup left. he put the plate down on the floor and dipped his face on it and started licking the catsup! then he said, "meow!!!". AYOS!!! we were laughing so hard hahaha!

the -days

2009-03-22T18:05:00.000+08:00

yesterday... he asked me to join him for dinner.

today... while in giant grocery(vivo city) with the kids, he searched for my favorite coconut biscuits which is hard to find here in sg. he got me two packs of the biscuit.

i'm sincerely touched.

facebook <-- feedbacks please

2009-02-26T10:25:00.000+08:00

i'm contemplating on having a facebook account. i received 5 invites already, and i'm not yet sure if i'm ready to be 'socially connected'. since i don't have any more friendster account, maybe part of moving on is upgrading your 'stuffs'. i'm still keeping my multiply and blogspot account, though.

ok ba ang facebook compared to friendster? some people told me that security is an issue with facebook. friendster naman, 10years before loading the page.

touching valentine letter from kobe

2009-02-19T16:44:00.003+08:00

valentine's day hasn't been a very 'celebrated' event in our family. we just normally greet each other and get on with our everyday lives. my sister berna told me the other day that our little sister, kobe, made a valentine's card for our family. she placed it on the ref door back home. berna sent me the message via chat. here was the message:

to my beloved family
mama papa kuya jason ate grace hapi valentines day noah and nixon

thanks jesus for valentines day

dear family, i love you all bcoz wen i was a kid you care for me even mama even i lie i will still love you and papa you done to so much

kuya even you always tease me i will love you in my heart ate berna thank you for teaching me all

ate grace you always make me happy all the time
*this next line is for me...*
achie you gave me nephews and that was the greatest gift to me nixon and noah
*awwww! i'm so touched!*

thank you all from your beloved child kobe

btw, she's only 8years old, turning 9 this year. =)

dialogues

2009-02-09T14:24:00.000+08:00

aslee: don't worry, i'm getting there

obie: *sigh of relief* i'm there

grace: *puzzled* never there!

nyahahaha!

no title

2009-02-09T14:20:00.000+08:00

the best thing upon hitting 30 is you stop ageing. that's right, you just stop counting and age is just a number.

i was off the radar for a while *i know... deleting my friendster account that i kept for 5years is kinda huge in terms of being off the radar.* i just had the notion of keeping to myself and thinking about stuffs. its not that i wanna lose contact with my friends, in fact i was keeping an inventory haha! maybe that's the paranoia you get when betrayal sets foot. enough said on the negatives... i'm pretty happy right now and in the process of moving on. i'm pretty sure though that i don't wanna care about those people who made my life difficult for the past errr 3months or so.

anyway, i just wanna thank those people who kept wishing me well and were supportive of me and my kids. having someone to be consistently there is a gift so i'm really grateful that those kind of persons exist.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that, i'm now ok. i found peace when i stopped fixing things and get on with my life. i have no regrets coming back home to my kids and leaving behind a step closer to my dreams. i know that if its meant to be, then i'll have a 2nd chance to my real path of existence. the knowledge that i tried, is enough for me to realize what i have and what i can't have. at least i tried, thats more important.

i'm sorry if i may sound vague for some but later on, i may be able to enlighten you when i'm stronger to come forward and let it out. but for now, these are all i can share to you. =)

proud momma

2009-02-09T13:52:00.000+08:00

my eldest son, nixon, started primary1 (grade1 in pinas school term) last jan. 2 at first toa payoh primary school. we were with him on his 1st day and i saw his excitement and anticipation of how things will be different from his kindergarten. he was one of the tallest kid in class. we left after an hour and waited for him at home. upon arrival, he told me that they had a buddy system where they partnered with primary5 kids. his buddy was telling him to eat faster during recess.. haha!

after 2weeks, parents of primary1's were summoned for a brief discussion of school policies and introduction of the teachers. i spoke to nixon's homeroom teacher, she told me that he's one of the brightest pupils she have, except that he's mischievous at times. *hmm, he should stop watching tom and jerry*. she said he was kinda shy at times, pretending not to hear when the teacher asks for volunteers. he's lacking some kind of leadership, she adds. i just told her that its ok for her to assign tasks for him, he normally does well with responsibility.

the following week, i learned that he was made PE monitor of their class. the week after, he was the library monitor in their classroom, and he was very proud telling me the news. he does his homework well and i was so happy to see that on his first unit test, he got a perfect score of 20/20! and somehow, i can see that he can follow on his chinese class also. its really a relief to know that he's adjusting pretty good in school. our only hurdle is waking up early for his school. its a struggle, but i know he'll get used to it after a while. =)

pondering, choosing lesser evil

2009-01-03T07:13:00.000+08:00

sometimes, when it's over, you would still cling on to that little hope. i think its alright but you must have the courage to move on and condition yourself that your situation is different now. and its better that you look at the reality rather than fantasize on what could be if you got back together. i got this advice from a friend, and i believe it makes sense... its better to be empty rather than be in pain.

you may have a different view, you might rather choose to be in pain because it gives you the ability to feel and that its more human. but i guess in my case, i had enough of too much feeling and emotions and the best way to go right now is to rest. it doesn't mean i'm giving up with happiness, its just a phase one has to go through to reflect on things and realize your achievements, strengths and weaknesses. i suggest you let it happen in your life, to have a moment of silence and contemplate what has transpired. this way you don't focus on the negatives, but on the happy memories and the lessons you obtained.

i'm now counting the days to my big 3-0 and much has happened, good and bad. i'm now halfway of my entire life, and wasting it on bad memories and sulking is not a good idea. i choose to be strong and happy... i'm gonna move on with my head up high because i know i did my best for the past 30years.

finding strength

2008-12-22T17:35:00.000+08:00

towards december, i was finding the courage and strength to write. but words just fail me. i can't even make a cohesive thought, everything is jumbled up and there were so many missing pieces in my heart and mind. they would just not connect at all.

i wanted to write about my feelings, but i'm too afraid for it to be too much. i'm afraid that too many questions would be said, and no answers would suffice. and then it would hurt. my patience is being tested, and i'm trying to breathe. i'm at lost for emotions, because i don't know exactly how to feel and react. i guess it's my fault... all along, i had high hopes which i wasn't even sure. and now, it's all gone... pieces of me are shaved off and putting them back all together is a mess.

rainbows and sunshine

2008-12-08T11:55:00.000+08:00

It’s fascinating to watch the sunrise coming in through the windows and catching the warm sunshine in your face. It’s like admiring a rainbow shine at its best after the rain and realizing how great life is. I would like to think about wonderful miracles these days. Especially when you’re expecting something wonderful to happen, a miracle perhaps.

When you find yourself in a situation that you cannot control, that is out of hand, all you can do is cry, pick up the pieces of your broken heart and move on. Don’t feel sad or defeated, because you’ve done your best and it’s the utmost of your capabilities. So don’t blame yourself… sometimes, things just doesn’t turn out the way we hope it should be. And I know it must really hurt big time, but we are all interconnected. And whatever the other person decides, will affect us further on in a different manner that we can’t explain at the moment. It will reveal itself maybe tomorrow, next month, next year… who knows. Some day you will just realize the purpose of that unwanted incident in your life and nod your head and say to yourself, “ahh now I get it.” But ‘til then, just remember the rainbows and sunshine. They might not be there at all times, but it happens. And so will your miracle and mine.

to be swept away off ur feet

2008-11-24T06:39:00.000+08:00

what does it take for you to be swept away off your feet and be in cloud9?

i have been watching too many chick flick and romantic movies these days, and i get totally carried away with 'kilig' on those sweet moments when the boy would propose to the girl on his knees spontaneously... or those profound moments of kissing and hugging. *sigh*

the best part is the saying of i love you's... especially when i imagine myself being the girl on the movie being professed with love and devotion. i could just imagine how surreal that moment is...

today is a milestone

2008-11-22T22:52:00.001+08:00

after 12midnight on this 22nd day of november year 2008, i sent a simple text message to my father. i greeted him a very happy birthday and i told him he's 59 and by january2009 i'll be 30. so i'm almost half of his life. i told him to take good care of his health and i thanked him. it touched my heart when he immediately replied to me, "thank u at ikaw sana matupad lahat ng pangarap mo. i'm proud of you, take care ka lagi jan." (thank u and i hope all your dreams would come true. i'm proud of you, take care always.)

i was teary-eyed... it was the first time in my entire 30years that my father told me that he is proud of me. we had gone through rough times together and after all these years, he finally sees me and i'm so moved by his words. he was never good at expressing himself, and i'm grateful for his courage.

to you papa, happy birthday and i love you always.

beyonce, be scared, be very scared!

2008-11-19T18:51:00.002+08:00

this link was forwarded to me by a friend, blessie, who was browsing in youtube.com to find latest song hits.. she found this and i was so amazed! i was laughing my heart out and furious with envy!

now, due to the overwelming response of the viewers proven by more than 1million hits, he guested in BH talk show (Bonnie Hunt). here's the 'purified' version... watch it here!

2nd monthsary alone

2008-11-15T00:08:00.003+08:00

new things i've mustered so far being in a different environment and experiencing 1st's in my life..

1. the earth does get very cold in some parts of this world. i never expected that a vast space would be like a cold freezer with cold mist splashing in your face.

2. staying in a suburban area is cool although it sometimes gets boring when there's only one bus passing by your neighborhood and the nearest civilization (malls) is 40minutes away.

3. autumn leaves are really fascinating and wonderful. before, i didn't really care when i come across them in magazines and the internet. now seeing them in person makes it feel so delightful. the changing of colors are awesome!

4. that in these events, i should take very good care of my camera :( it's been more than 2weeks now since it's been in the repair center. please get well soon so i can still catch the autumn leaves before snow comes in.

5. it takes a lot of patience waiting for the bus to pass by and getting there in the train station 30minutes before the arrival. it takes a lot of warming power to sit or stand in the shed while cold wind is blowing and smoke is definitely coming out of your breath (but i kinda like the smoke thing hehe).

6. you learn to do chores on your own and well, do all of them by yourself. *prang redundant haha*

7. i learned to read the maps and be observant of the road signs and bus stops and shops, banks, church, groceries within the area so that the next time, i know when to hit the stop button in the bus and where to alight in train stations.

8. i learned how to find a way to entertain myself when sadness, loneliness, depression and homesickness kicks in :( *sigh* i really miss my kids and dadi rak. *i already watched grey's anatomy from season1-4*

sadyang ganoon

2008-11-10T01:52:00.004+08:00

minsan, kahit gaano kalabis mong ipakita sa taong mahal mo na iniibig mo sya, sadyang di ka nya nakikita.

minsan, kahit gaano kaalab ang iyong pag-irog sa kanya, sadyang di nya maramdaman ang kapurihan ng iyong pagsinta.

minsan, kahit gaano kahigpit ang iyong yakap sa kanya upang ipadama ang init ng iyong pagmaliw, sadyang kumakawala sya sa iyong mga bisig.

minsan, kahit gaano mo sya gustong punuin ng iyong pag-aaruga at proteksyon, sadyang pilit pa din syang lalayag at papalaot sa piling ng iba.

minsan, kahit gaano kasakit sa iyong damdamin na makita syang masaya sa piling ng kanyang sinisinta, sadyang kailangang tanggapin na kahit kailan di sya para sa iyo.

minsan, kahit gaano kaganda at kadalisay ang iyong intensyong mapaligaya sya, palalayain mo sya kahit lumuluha ang iyong puso.

sadyang ganoon talaga.. mas mahalaga ang pagmamahal nya sa iniibig nya kaysa sa pag-ibig na nilalaan mo para sa kanya.

noted

2008-11-01T18:03:00.000+08:00

a gentleman knows when to walk away and doesn't settle for anything less than what he deserves. - mrs. burke, grey's anatomy

bbrrrr

2008-10-29T00:06:00.000+08:00

it's end of october and snow should start in supposedly 2weeks... not!
i'm forcing myself to walk my way to the bathroom, turn on the showers and bathe, but my cold feet are creeping its way back to the covers.

bbrrrrr... the cold weather is coming.. and i'm missing my warm human blanket :(

haberday!

2008-10-24T21:33:00.002+08:00

happy birthday to my ever dearest gwaping baby boy, nixon :) mami loves you so much! i hope you'll grow up to be a much stronger and braver person. dadi, mami and noah will always be here for you. we love you! mwah!

bright leaves.. windy wind

2008-10-22T22:55:00.002+08:00

as i am looking outside the window inside my room, i saw that the leaves are falling from the trees and they look pretty. it's so colorful. and the wind outside is humming its way to fall season. i think the weather helps to dampen your emotions or lift them up in such a way that it clouds your judgement and perspective. i'm trying my best to stay focus and be in the game. it should happen, if not sooner, then later. i just have to breathe and think about the nice colors of the leaves, the brighter side of the humming wind and cool breeze. this is just a phase, to renew, discover and learn. maybe it won't turn out the way i expected, but at least i enjoyed the ride and realized something new. i need to prioritize myself sometimes, and be kinder to my own self. i deserve a chance to be happy and discover who i really am.

colder than LA

2008-10-16T11:27:00.002+08:00

i'm in hayward, california for the past 5days and tomorrow i'll be flying off to new jersey to face the reality of my purpose why i'm here.

anyway, the 1hour flight sucks as it was so bumpy and all windy so we were all buckled up the entire journey. of course you know me, the girl with the ever-ready med kit who never runs out of white flower and candies during travel. yes, i really hated it coz i felt so dizzy and i was thinking, i should've taken the 6hour train ride. so i got off safely, thank god and christen and hubby ryan and baby kyle were there to take me home to their nice place. grabe, the wind was blowing cold in my face and body.

the following day, we went to fisherman's wharf to stroll around. there was heavy traffic coz of the airshow so parking was a disaster, imagine 2hours to find a space! finally we got late lunch from tarantino's restaurant and had the famous clam chowder soup and pasta. then we went around pier39. the place was packed with lots of people. and btw, my camera broke huhuhu *big time sob*. it fell when we were inside the wax museum. we weren't able to go view the alcatraz but we just took some pics.

the following day, our college buds, bien and lesther, picked us up to go wine tasting in napa valley. it was kinda far but when you get there, it feels like a sossy suburban area hehe! lots of tourist trying out wines from every vineyard. we went to two, one is very famous for their wines and the other one was where they shoot some scenes in walk in the clouds movie of keanu reeves. of course, the wine tasting session was the most fun of it. i think i got tipsy after trying 6 kinds of red/white wine.

my experience here was awesome! a break on the buzz and hustle of the city of LA. i'm so thankful with my friends who made my 1st month here in the US very awesome! pictures to follow =)

2008-10-10T22:48:00.001+08:00

it's never ending.. it's pointless coz it's going in circles.. i'm tired, frustrated and stressed.. and it never has a conclusion. so why bother.. just let it go.

i remember

2008-10-09T12:08:00.001+08:00

i need you back... i need you here to guide me... please come back, you're the only one who's ever loved me... i need you back... let's start all over again. share the love you had for me then..

i wish he could just be supportive and loving right now.. as in, now. *sigh* wherever you are, i hope you're happy always.

thor

ang nakaraan..

2008-10-08T02:49:00.000+08:00

eto, delayed ulit posts ko. since i have few more days left here in LA, might as well write an update. sa totoo lang naiinis ako ngayon dito sa multiply account ko. may mga pics kasi na high resolution that i uploaded previously and you can view them individually so mas clear sya kasi malaki. but right now, di mo na sya makita. baket? kasi nagpapabayad na multiply!!! kainis!!! ggrrrrr!! natuwa pa naman ako dati sa kanya dahil masaya mag-upload ng pics for your friends and relatives to see. tapos ngayon $19.95 ang upgrade para lang maka post ka ng high res pics?!?! wadaf**K! can somebody just give me an alternative?

anyway, last weekend i was busy *buti na lang kasi may mga taong nagpapasira ng araw ko lately*. we attended hya's nephew's birthday tapos i met with my high school friends for dinner and get together. and then sinundo ako ng common sg friend namin ni faye na si anie and stayed overnight in their house. promise ang ganda ng house nila! post ko next time in another site kasi imbiyerna dito sa multiply.

tapos nung monday, namasyal kami sa universal studios. buti na lang mabait un pinsan ni hya at sinama kaming ipasyal dun together w/ his wife and kid. thanks again kuya danny and hya! again, pics to follow. tinatamad kasi ako mag-edit ng pics para lang magkasya sya sa acceptable size dito.

Closing Cycles

2008-09-29T21:35:00.003+08:00

*i found this in my stockroom hehe.. it's a very nice read.*

Closing Cycles
By Paolo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, ! your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important. Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

*amen to that*

2008-09-28T16:41:00.003+08:00

i guess i would not be receiving that email after all... *what was i thinking*

trying..

2008-09-27T12:23:00.000+08:00

i'm still trying... trying my best to be less sad. trying my best not to be scared to express my emotions because i feel that every time i do, things get screwed up. trying my best to listen, to understand, to have patience, to endure. maybe next time, i'll try not to speak.

breathe.... just breathe...

other side of the world

2008-09-24T08:51:00.000+08:00

Where should I start? I can’t even seem to find my words right now with all the pain and misery that I’m feeling. I’m miles away from my love ones, and I can’t do anything but pray and have faith that everything will get better soon. But why does it feel that I’m so alone in my hopes and dreams? Why do they continue to send me to oblivious pain? I have tried my best to express my sadness and hurt diplomatically… but they still keep on insisting their logical reasons which I find very insulting. I thought I left a strong boulder to keep our family intact… but pieces are crumbling away and I can’t find a super glue to keep it together because the rain of tears won’t stop flowing… and along with it comes my hopes and dreams drifting away off the shore. I should pick up my pace and accept the loss. I pray that things will get better eventually… I need to believe that there is still light at the end of the tunnel.

Artist: KT Tunstall
Song: Other Side Of The World

Lyrics:

Over the sea and far away
She's waiting like an Iceberg
Waiting to change,
But she's cold inside
She wants to be like
the water,

All the muscles tighten in her face
Buries her soul in one embrace
They're one and the same
Just like water

Then the fire fades away
But most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
to me

On comes the panic light
Holding on with fingers
and feelings alike
But the time has come
To move along

Can you help me?
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore

Then the fire fades away
most of everyday
Is full of tired excuses
But it's too hard to say
I wish it were simple
But we give up easily
You're close enough to see that
You're.... the other side of the world
Ohh.... the other side of the world
You're.... the other side of the world
To me.

*sigh* <-- youtube vid

ladidu

2008-09-14T14:53:00.000+08:00

i'm so sorry, i'm procrastinating. ang hirap promise! sobrang busy with packing, meeting with friends, doing last minute errands and sis grace and her friend touched down in sg yesterday. in between all those, i try to spend quality time with my boys and gather our pictures. i promise to give you the juices when i settled down on the other side of the world. *huhuhuhu* when i'm able to update my blog, it means i landed to my destination and currently miles away from my dearest family and friends.

*21hours to go, and i'm crying a bucket full =( *

hbd eram!

2008-09-10T08:43:00.003+08:00

since friday is our usual night out and eram's birthday is on a sunday *which she would most likely spend with her family*, we decided to give her a pre birthday celebration in clarke quay. we ate at cuba libre, kind of a mixture of mexican, spanish, cuban food i guess hehe! nachos and quesadillas are perfect to d taste buds. eram and i tried d shiraz wine while ami and dadi rak took the mojitos. ulrik, *pa-girly effect ata* drank the pink guava vodka ata un! haha! then ashoeshwal we had coffee at the coffee bean, surprising the birthday lady *who btw turned 23 for d 7th time? hahaha* with a mudpie cake.

happy birthday dear blessie! =) pictures --> here!

dadi's off d calendar

2008-08-28T18:32:00.000+08:00

last aug21, dadi and i decided to spend time by ourselves and have dinner in a nice place in clarke quay. it's been a tradition every year that we have dinner somewhere on the night of dadi's birthday. this year we held it in a spanish restaurant named tapas tree. my friends have tried it a year ago and recommended the beef stew and paella. so i made reservations and we arrived just in time. the paella takes some time to cook to i had it done 30minutes before we arrived. we ordered picadillo and gambas together with the paella. some cocktail drink and beer to go along with the sumptuous feast. i forgot what our dessert was called but it was kinda like bread pretzels dipped in nice belgian chocolate.

we enjoyed the night and i was happy to see that dadi was so pleased. happy 32nd birthday dadi rak =)

that ring

2008-08-19T20:28:00.005+08:00

this morning, i listened to my fave radio station, power98 with dj harry as host. *he's pinoy btw* he has this trivia contest where he gives out prizes if you guess the answer correctly. his question today was: most women worry about the size of this but according to survey, 80% of men worry more about the size of this. what is this? i know most of you are smiling on the thought of this thing... but no, it's not a part of the body. there was a girl who answered a wedding ring, then dj harry said almost close. next caller was another girl, he repeated the previous answers and the clue...

dj harry : what is this? there was a previous answer, wedding ring which is almost close to the to the right answer...

girl : ok... wait, is it an earing???

dj harry : nope i'm sorry but thats not correct. thanks for calling.

i immediately texted him *he's a good friend of mine btw*...

me : bwahahhaha! grabe, natawa ko sa earing syaks! *bwahahaha! that earing really made me laugh!*

dj harry : hahaha ako nga nalaglag sa upuan haha *hahaha i fell off the chair haha*

that was classic! started my day right! hahahaha!

any time now...

2008-08-16T23:22:00.005+08:00

even if i try so hard not to think about it or how much i hide from it, the reality is... it's going to be any time now. i should succumb to the truth that it's just 11days 'til i empty my desk in the office... 13days 'til i go back home to be with my parents and siblings for just 4days... and only 30days before i bid adieu to sg and have a good crying 'til i get on board on that plane.

i must start talking to my boys and spend quality time with them. any time now...

jeng's 888

2008-08-08T01:00:00.001+08:00

to one of my ever dearest best friend for more than a decade, jennifer... happy happy birthday! hope that your birthday, falling on exactly this 08-08-08, will be blessed with so much love and prosperity within this lifetime and the next. love u friend! i miss u so much!

timely coincidence

2008-07-29T23:33:00.005+08:00

i just remembered.. i was suppose to blog about this incident last month. remember our nice driver/tourist guide from bohol? mang jun? well, we suddenly remembered to send in some 'tip' for his generosity during our trip to bohol. we weren't able to hand him some token of gratitude because we were expecting that he'll be the same driver who'll take us to the ferry terminal to cebu. unfortunately, he had another appointment so we were taken by another guy. so we decided to deposit some amount in his bank account during our remittance trip to LP.

i asked for his bank details, and told me how thankful he is. his exact words were, 'ma'am, siguro po hulog kayo ng langit sa akin. kasi po nasa ospital po ako ngayon, bukas ako discharge. buti na lang po may dumating na tulong pinansyal galing sa inyo. god bless po at maraming salamat!' *ma'am, maybe you were sent by good fate. i'm currently confined in the hospital and will be discharged tomorrow. good thing you're financial aid was in time. god bless and thank you!*.

it really sent chills to my body and i was so touched by this incident. truly, another one of god's mysterious ways.

a101-ers

2008-07-26T23:23:00.003+08:00

ava, mae and me

mae, carlos, ava and me

it's been a while since we got to spend time together. the last time i've been with ava was 5years ago... when christen left for the states and i went to sg. we had karaoke and beer at kbox in greenbelt. while mae has been here in sg for more than a year already, we haven't gotten the time to chit-chat and catch up. same goes with carlos who has been here since last dec07 and gerome, who got here a few months after i did.

ava made it a point to have a one day stopover here in sg going to penang just to be with us. isn't that sweet! even if we haven't been communicating for years, she still contacted us and i was honored to have her stay in our house even for just overnight.

ava and i go way back in our 1st day registration in college. we got into mapua and was scheduled to register to acknowledge our slots as comp eng freshmen. she was the only person in the room who i thought was nice and pretty so i sat beside her and we kinda got along. we ended up as classmates for class a101 coe freshman year. mae, carlos and gerome were also part of the class. sadly, by 3rd year majoring, ava shifted to ie and mae to ece. but we still see each other, but not that often.

so when ava announced that she'll be coming by, i was so happy! and more so, she was getting married this october! bad news is, i won't be able to make it... good news is, we were still able to spend time here in sg, so i kinda made up for it. another good news was that carlos' wife and baby will be staying with him come september, while mae and chris will be having their church wedding come jan08. i'm so glad we were able to spend time together. gerome couldn't make it but then of course he tried.

strolling down memory lane

2008-07-14T22:21:00.007+08:00

this was one of my faves during my college years. i guess it's the message and the beat of the song.

People say that together we were both sides of the same coin
That we would shine like Venus in a clear night sky
We thought our love could overcome the circumstances
But my ambition wouldn't allow for compromise

I could see in the distance all the dreams that were clear to me
Every choice that I had to make left you on your own
Somehow the road we started down had split asunder
Too late to realise how far apart we'd grown.
How I wish I, wish I'd done a little bit more

Now " Shoulda woulda coulda," means I'm out of time
Coz "Shoulda woulda coulda", can't change your mind
And I wonder, wonder, wonder what I'm gonna do
"Shoulda woulda coulda" are the last words of a fool

People ask how it feels to live the kind of life others dream about
I tell them everybody gotta face their highs and their lows
And in my life there's a love I put aside, cause I was busy loving something else
So for every little thing you hold on to, you've got to let something else go

[Chorus]

Fool if I would now forsake the opportunities are fate
I know I'm right where I belong
But sometimes when I'm not so strong I..

the hubby meme

2008-07-12T13:15:00.000+08:00

Got this tag from janine, medyo long overdue na din hehe.. here goes mine

How long did you date? hmmm we didn't actually date kasi we were very good friends back then so everytime we go out, its like meron kang alalay kasi nakakalungkot mag-isang mag-malling hahaha

How old is he? turning 32 next month

Who eats more? pareho (para fair hehe)

Who said “I love you” first? ako ata hihihi

Who is taller? sya po, your honor

Who sings better? ako ata? hehe (or mas vocal lng ako, in short mas mahilig ako kumanta ng walang hiya!)

Who is smarter? aba syempre ako! (pro minsan sya)

Whose temper is worse? ako (aminado)

Who does the laundry? si tita juvs :D

Who does the dishes? si tita juvs kasi masyadong masipag e

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? ako hehe

Who pays the bills? both of us

Who cooks dinner? madalas si tita juvs padin, pro ako din minsan pag weekends

Who drives when you are together? wala kaming ida-drive hehe

Who is more stubborn? Me

Who kissed who first? ahhh sabay?

Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? sya kahit di tlga sya may kasalanan heheh

Whose parents do you see the most? mine kasi pag umuuwi kami ng pinas, sa manila kami nka-stay. nsa tarlac family nya.

Who proposed? di na uso sa min ata ung ganun hehe

Who is more sensitive? ako

Who has more friends? ako din hehe

Who has more siblings? ako

Who wears the pants in the family? pareho kami nagsusuot nyan hehe.

That was fun! If you think it was, too, and you want to blab about your husband, go ahead and grab this! I’m passing on this tag to these married ladies: faye, twix, sookie, pazette, carola, lengirl, trina, and kendz. :)

to daddy dearie...

2008-07-08T22:53:00.001+08:00

...happy 3rd year anniversary. =)

makes sense

2008-07-05T11:44:00.003+08:00

"love is not a feeling, it's an ability"
- marty, bf of cara

excerpt from the movie 'dan in real life'
=)

may27, day2 in bohol

2008-06-23T23:53:00.003+08:00

The following day, we had garlic rice, tocino and fried bangus with coffee and local chocolate tablet. We lazed around the beach the whole day and took lots of pictures. Good thing we’re here on a weekday so not much people are present. The water was warm and clear. Even if we were surrounded by small bangkas, we didn’t mind dipping into the water and feel the healing waves behind our backs. I think from the shore, you can walk up to 100meters with the water just on your waist! It was amazing! I thought that somehow the waters would be deep, but good thing it wasn’t so we had plenty of space to swim in. And the best thing was that I learned to do floating and a little backstroke… hehehe!

After a while, we strolled along the beach and took some pictures. It was almost sunset, and the kids in the neighborhood were playing around the beach. For dinner, we were served with lechon kawali and chopsuey then we strolled along the beach again and rested on the duyan (hammock) on the tree. It was a quiet night; dadi and I had a nice time talking about things and the latest happenings in our lives. We talked about the kids and our plans for them. We went back to our hut afterwards and started packing for our next day trip to Cebu.

may26 entry.. bohol part2

2008-06-23T23:37:00.005+08:00

The ride to the Choc Hills took a while; it’s in the city of Carmen. Going up the viewing deck was very challenging (more than 200steps I think), but when I saw the view, it was worth it! I love the hills, they really look like nice gigantic chocolates laid down on a field. The scientific story goes that long time ago bohol was submerged with ocean water and volcanic eruptions in the water, with flowing lava that mixed with salt water, created those lumps. As the years passed, lands showed up then the pouring rain helped in contouring those lumps into pretty hills. Previously, the natives call it Carmen Hills. But when the Americans came, they said that those are chocolate hills shaped like the Hershey kisses so now its called Chocolate Hills. Some legends say that there were two giants that build them up while others say they were created by enchantments of the land. All together, there were 1,678 hills in those lands… huwaw!!!

We passed by a butterfly reserve hut owned by a 27year old lady from New Zealand. Imagine, a girl that young was an environmentalist and chose to live a quiet life in the suburbs of bohol and established this butterfly nursery. His caretakers and gardeners toured us around the place and gave a lecture on the difference of moths and butterflies. Then we went to visit a hanging bridge, which unfortunately was under repair so we just took pictures at the mouth of it. We also visited an old house, the Clarin Mansion, which was turned into a museum upstairs and café downstairs. I like the ambiance of the place as it was so relaxing. The lady who toured us around the house told us that the owners were one of the oldest politicians in our country. One of the sons was the 1st president of the senate house during the American regime.

Our last stop was at the tarsiers reserve. Tarsiers are believed to be part of the mammal family and are said to be the ‘smallest monkey’. Their eyesight is not that good during daytime but they are best onlookers at night. Obviously its due to their big bulging eyes. They are joined by the lemurs in the reserve, but during our visit, they were lazy and sleepy hanging on the tree branches. After all those visits, we headed to the resort in Panglao Island that was across Tagbilaran City. It’s connected through a bridge and the island has small population with only two towns in it.

We rested through the night and had a wonderful dinner. Our menu consisted of the island delicacy, beef bita-ug and fried spring chicken cooked in local ways.

may26 entry.. bohol

2008-06-23T22:50:00.005+08:00

Our first day in bohol was dedicated to sightseeing and tour around the nice places in the area. First stop was at the Sanduguan monument that commemorates the blood compact tradition when the Spaniards came to our country. It was said that during old times, our ancestors would require the ceremony if you have intentions of making friends with the tribe. We stopped by an old and gigantic banyan tree (balete tree) inside a mansion of a german folk who started living in bohol during his retirement years. The tree was 100years old; he bought it together with the land where his mansion was built. Next stop was Baclayon Church, which was believed to be one of the oldest churches in the Phils. There was a mini museum upstairs, a grotto and bonsai garden at the back and a school beside it. The inside of the church itself was breathtaking! I had chills when I stepped inside and all visitors were respecting the solitude. Now I understand why some couples choose to get wed in this church. Another church that we saw was the Cathedral of Sta. Monica, which was also an old church with Spanish-like structure.

We had an early lunch, 11am at the Loboc river where we ate inside a floating restaurant. Of course my nerves were killing me, I have issues with the waves and boats/ferries that’s why I didn’t eat much. I was surprised, though, that when the floating resto started moving, the cruise along the river was pleasant and soothing. The air breeze was so cool in my face and the serenading voice of manong was calming. We stopped for a while at a barge with teenagers and old folks who sang and danced in different songs using guitars and yukulele (small guitars). We even joined them for a while and the Koreans who also watched them joined in the fun. Getting back, we went to the man-made forest area along the highway going to Chocolate hills. During the 1950’s, the governor passed a law requiring citizens of bohol to plant trees on the 3hectare land.

you may view more pictures in our multiply website. =)

may26 entry

2008-06-23T22:37:00.002+08:00

*my first thoughts when we started our trip to the visayas region...*

i thank god that our flight wasn’t delayed… i thank god for the safe and smooth flight… i thank god for the nice weather as soon as we landed in Bohol… i thank god for the kind and reliable driver… i thank god for all the wonderful creations that we experienced going around Bohol… i thank god for our peaceful resort… i thank god that I was with my sweet and loving husband as i discover His great wonders.

back again, and nag-eemote

2008-06-11T23:12:00.006+08:00

hello we're back! *para bang kanta ng boy band ang subject title? hehe*
kwento ako sa inyo ng details ng trip namin to manila sa next entry ko. inaayos ko pa kasi ung sobrang daming pictures namin from the trip. but let me just blog about my feelings right now...

as i was putting my two little boys to sleep, i was seeing their faces together with dadi and the rest of ptv4 in the airport waving their goodbyes to me and hugging me... tears just suddenly rolled at the corners of my eyes. i'm counting the weeks now... everytime na maiisip ko na malapit ko na sila iwan for some time, i can't help but cry.

never

2008-05-18T00:22:00.004+08:00

i will never heed nor attempt to befriend that person anymore... it proves to say that that person is not worthy and is totally and absolutely superficial. i'm letting go of our so-called friendship. period.